It's been awhile, and I wanted to provide an update because a lot has happened.
We've paid the house down to $70,719 and it's been amazing at how fast it's happened! I worked 60 hrs a week for an entire year and we just kept putting huge chunks down on principle every month. It has been so satisfying to see the numbers changing so quickly.
I had a massive feeling that 2020 would bring about some crazy thing, and I was right. We are now experiencing a global pandemic called the Corona Virus that came out of China. It is spreading extremely fast because people are not taking it seriously enough. Thankfully Governments have started to issue stay at home orders, but the economic effects are quickly being felt be everyone globally. It's staggering to see how fragile our economy is. Jobs reports just came out and 6,000,000 people are unemployed at the moment. In the past this would have caused me quite a bit of panic, but this time, I am actually watching all of this with an interesting level of detachment.
I am fortunate enough to have an essential job in the trucking industry, so that provides a bit of security, but I am consciously prepared for something to change. I have done my best to prepare, and my fear of situations like this are what have led us to be in the position we are in. We currently have 6 months of mortgage payments set aside in case I lose my job, and we are actually looking to refinance right now to lock in a lower payment that would increase our margin of safety even more.
Another rather interesting change that has taken place this year has been in our mindset about finances as a whole. I can't remember why, but we listened to the "Rich Dad Poor Dad" audio book on YouTube and it really got us understanding how important it is to create cash flowing assets. There is a massive difference between being debt free, and being financially free. We have now spent a lot of time considering, planning and projecting a financial future that includes rental property. I have been taking in hours and hours of content related to passive real estate income, and I found myself in an excited, but somewhat overwhelmed state in considering all the time and hard work involved.
You see, in pretty much every piece of content that discusses real estate and growing wealthy, they all describe a method that involves you leveraging yourself to the hilt to acquire all these properties so quickly. It felt risky to me, and the reality is, this epidemic might just have been the perfect thing to educate me on the risks of doing just that. I think the reality is going to be that a lot of leveraged real estate people are going to struggle and possibly lose their properties thanks to this unforeseen event that is causing a massive global economic shift.
Just yesterday we just spoke with an acquaintance of ours that has become financially free from real estate, and they basically confirmed that the frugal, slow approach my gut has been telling me is the best way, is definitely the best way.
So, in the next couple years when this house is paid off, we can simply start saving up for our next property and slowly achieve cash flow the good old fashioned way. By paying off our properties and being basically impervious to market conditions. Patience truly pays.
On the trading front, I had initially decided to forget about it until the house was paid off. I have since realized that I should at least be getting my screen time for the next two years. It could only help. And with screen time, came paper trading again, which has gone back to being successful, yet... boring. So, I decided to put some real money into my TD Ameritrade account because I realized I need to start working on the actual emotional side of things, because that's what I truly struggled with on the last go around. Well, that and trying to trade on a platform that I simply wasn't familiar or comfortable with.
On my last venture with live trading, I ended up using Interactive Brokers because they were the cheapest commissions at $1 per trade as long as you traded 100 shares or less. The completely unexpected thing that has since happened, is that all the major retail brokers went commission free. I guess this was in response to up and coming competition from brokers like WeBull and Robinhood, that offered zero commission trading.
So now I get to trade commission free on a platform I am extremely comfortable with. The somewhat comical thing is, as soon as sat in front of the computer to trade, I was petrified because it was real money. I ended up having to force myself to trade with 1 share just to be taking the damn trade. And, it worked. in the last 13 real money trades I am actually up and have been proud of myself for being really choosy with my 3 day trades. My plan is honestly just to keep trading small and gradually ramp it up as I can handle the emotions of the sizes more and more comfortably, until hopefully I will be trading profitably (and rather emotion free) at a size that provides meaningful income.
We have also entered a long term trade on Carnival Cruise ($CCL) lines and are long at an average price of $14.49. Everything got hit hard, but them most of all, dropping 80%. The government has decided to implement a 6 Trillion dollar bailout package, and last minute (after we already put our position on) decided that the cruise lines aren't going to be included because they aren't registered in the US. Which, makes sense honestly. It's a small $2,000 position that while we would rather not lose on, we can afford to. I think that as long as they actually survive, we'll see a good return, and possibly even some dividend income, which I have never received before.
The future will certainly be an interesting one, given all the potential outcomes.
Showing posts with label stock trading. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stock trading. Show all posts
Sunday, April 5, 2020
Tuesday, October 16, 2018
Real Money Recap: First 10 days
It's been 10 days since my first real trade already?!?! Wow.
It has been a roller coaster for sure. Friday the 5th is when I subscribed to live market data for $20/month. I made $51 in 82 seconds on $TLRY. It was setting up so I went long. The instant I was in a position some tab scrolled up blocking my access to the trading buttons on the chart. What would have been $150+ ended up being only 1/3rd of that.
I thought about nothing but trading all weekend, and I believe I even traded the open of some day in my simulator, Think or swim on demand. Ended up making some money.
Monday rolls around and I made $87.50 and left a ton on the table because $IGC just kept running. It's okay though, I did not feel bad about it as I know this will happen often. What blew me away, was knowing how much money I would have been up if I had been trading that $13k size position from Friday... So much potential.
Tuesday I ended up taking no real trades because of an account setting I had that sweeps my excess cash over to the commodities side of the account, which disqualifies it for use on equities or something. I changed that setting and traded in the sim.
Wednesday the Market was very slow and I made some mistakes, which I covered in my previous blog post. Ended the day down $53.20 after commissions, which was about 2/3rds of that!
Thursday was slow as well and I got the inclination to walk away from the market down only $3 on the day, but $TLRY looked like it was setting up for a break higher and I took the bait. This is where my week really got worse. One beautiful thing about interactive brokers is that you can set your orders to size your shares based on a dollar amount, so your equity performance and dollar performance are much more closely linked. It keeps you swift as you no longer have the burden of doing the math to size your positions and can just click your hot keys to enter the position. Unfortunately I did not read the fine print when I checked off the option to set my position to be $1,000. A little box popped up that told me "Any position under 100 shares will execute at 100 shares", so when I went to trade $1,000 of a $136 stock (which would have been only 7.3 shares) it got me in at the minimum 100 shares, a $13,600 position! That is just one of the mistakes that ruined my day. Another unfortunate mishap was that I was setting a limit order to enter on the break of a recent high, and it executed me instantly at basically the top of the resistance instead of on a break of it like I had planned. I still do not know what happened to cause that, but regardless, I was in a position that I did not desire to be in. It was only 10 or so seconds after execution did I even pick up on the fact that I was in with 100 shares. I was panicked, but I decided to see if the trade would turn out as my instinct had suggested. Well, no it didn't because my instinct was only wanting to go long on the break of highs, which never happened. I took a loss of $110...
I then told myself "I am very familiar with the way this stock moves, and every time I trade it I walk away with profits on it". With that in mind I decided to stick with trading it and at the same $13k position size. I ended up taking 2 more losses and finally caught the bottom, but was shaken out given the fact that the stock kept making lower lows. The interesting thing, which seems to be happening to me a lot in this slower, choppier market, is that I end up taking losses when the stock offered me gains. If you look, the second and third entries would have paid me back and more on my first loss, and the fourth entry would have done even more so! Instead, I ended the day down over $330! It was a sorrowing defeat for me that day, because I had said earlier that I was going to walk away because the market was slow, and I was down $3... While $TLRY did have potential, I simply disregarded my own words. What I had realized after my $TLRY incident, was that it was having it's lowest volume day in a month, and the range on the day was only $4, which for $TLRY was not much, especially given that the spread alone on that stock is routinely $.50-$.80!
It was very difficult for me to face the markets again on Friday, and my only goal was to finish up green. I wanted to go into the weekend in the green. One thing that did help me feel better, was to realize that the loss I took on $TLRY was so damn small, that had I been trading it as a $1,000 position, it would have been basically a $10 loss... That's NOTHING! While I was tempted to come back trading with that full $13k size from the day before, I knew I was probably not in the best emotional state to be doing that. I ended up coming back to make $41.61 Friday, but commissions ate into that making it only $22.20! While that is a bummer, I am trying to keep in mind that I am trading $1,000 positions to acclimate myself into trading real money and the emotions that go with it. I still struggle to lose $20-$30, but I think that can be minimized with the right perspective. I mean, I'll go out to dinner and spend that without remorse (usually), why can't I spend $30 happily and without stress if it means I can get $100 back?
As the weekend ended, even though I finished green Friday a lot of enthusiasm had left me. I am trying to learn to let it go so that I can maintain the proper mindset for this. Without the mindset there is no long term success. I didn't do any studying that I can recall, but I also couldn't wait for Monday to get back in the ring and make up those losses. My goal was not to make them up though, it was just to trade good. And, I have to say Monday was another frustrating day. I took so great trades but just (once again) left a lot on the table!
I actually traded $TLRY because it was setting up. This stock can bounce like crazy and it usually puts in a nice long green candle with volume as the signal that the bottom is in. Even though I hesitated and did not take the initial entry I wanted, that would have paid me hundreds of dollars easily, I still traded it too conservatively when I actually did enter! Thankfully when I was at work turning on my platform to record my days charts, I saw it had broken out hard and pulled back. It was an important level to break and I felt the need to take the opportunity for continuation on the stock, so I did. I ended up making about another $90. It crashed pretty damn hard after that so I was thankful to have exited pretty much perfectly on the remainder of my position.
So that was a nice way to end the day. up $238.70 real money on the account, but I was still bitter about not having executed on my gut and buying what was essentially a routine bounce for $TLRY. Literally ever dollar per share that thing moved would have been $100 profit to my account, and I legitimately missed about $10/share of moves, to be conservative about it. Anyhow, I had made up the losses from last week and was still up $14 from when I had come back to real money trading.
Today I came back to trading a $1,000 position, and the only stock I traded was $FFHL. It popped up on Ross' scanner and I felt like I should take a stab at it. I almost got stopped out, as it violated the lows just barely, but I held on and had set my limit at high of day. I got filled as it popped up and came right back down for $112 on the day. I said I was done, and I kept it that way, even though $TLRY had some incredible movement this morning. It ended up hitting $170 premarket. I had a feeling I should take a small over night position on it, but I did not do it. Oh well. My goal for next the rest of this week will probably be to continue trading $1k positions and just slowly building my account. I just want to prove that I can do it with this size, and then naturally I can increase it all. I have just $30 to go to make up my losses from last years real money trading!
It has been a roller coaster for sure. Friday the 5th is when I subscribed to live market data for $20/month. I made $51 in 82 seconds on $TLRY. It was setting up so I went long. The instant I was in a position some tab scrolled up blocking my access to the trading buttons on the chart. What would have been $150+ ended up being only 1/3rd of that.
I thought about nothing but trading all weekend, and I believe I even traded the open of some day in my simulator, Think or swim on demand. Ended up making some money.
Monday rolls around and I made $87.50 and left a ton on the table because $IGC just kept running. It's okay though, I did not feel bad about it as I know this will happen often. What blew me away, was knowing how much money I would have been up if I had been trading that $13k size position from Friday... So much potential.
Tuesday I ended up taking no real trades because of an account setting I had that sweeps my excess cash over to the commodities side of the account, which disqualifies it for use on equities or something. I changed that setting and traded in the sim.
Wednesday the Market was very slow and I made some mistakes, which I covered in my previous blog post. Ended the day down $53.20 after commissions, which was about 2/3rds of that!
Thursday was slow as well and I got the inclination to walk away from the market down only $3 on the day, but $TLRY looked like it was setting up for a break higher and I took the bait. This is where my week really got worse. One beautiful thing about interactive brokers is that you can set your orders to size your shares based on a dollar amount, so your equity performance and dollar performance are much more closely linked. It keeps you swift as you no longer have the burden of doing the math to size your positions and can just click your hot keys to enter the position. Unfortunately I did not read the fine print when I checked off the option to set my position to be $1,000. A little box popped up that told me "Any position under 100 shares will execute at 100 shares", so when I went to trade $1,000 of a $136 stock (which would have been only 7.3 shares) it got me in at the minimum 100 shares, a $13,600 position! That is just one of the mistakes that ruined my day. Another unfortunate mishap was that I was setting a limit order to enter on the break of a recent high, and it executed me instantly at basically the top of the resistance instead of on a break of it like I had planned. I still do not know what happened to cause that, but regardless, I was in a position that I did not desire to be in. It was only 10 or so seconds after execution did I even pick up on the fact that I was in with 100 shares. I was panicked, but I decided to see if the trade would turn out as my instinct had suggested. Well, no it didn't because my instinct was only wanting to go long on the break of highs, which never happened. I took a loss of $110...
I then told myself "I am very familiar with the way this stock moves, and every time I trade it I walk away with profits on it". With that in mind I decided to stick with trading it and at the same $13k position size. I ended up taking 2 more losses and finally caught the bottom, but was shaken out given the fact that the stock kept making lower lows. The interesting thing, which seems to be happening to me a lot in this slower, choppier market, is that I end up taking losses when the stock offered me gains. If you look, the second and third entries would have paid me back and more on my first loss, and the fourth entry would have done even more so! Instead, I ended the day down over $330! It was a sorrowing defeat for me that day, because I had said earlier that I was going to walk away because the market was slow, and I was down $3... While $TLRY did have potential, I simply disregarded my own words. What I had realized after my $TLRY incident, was that it was having it's lowest volume day in a month, and the range on the day was only $4, which for $TLRY was not much, especially given that the spread alone on that stock is routinely $.50-$.80!
It was very difficult for me to face the markets again on Friday, and my only goal was to finish up green. I wanted to go into the weekend in the green. One thing that did help me feel better, was to realize that the loss I took on $TLRY was so damn small, that had I been trading it as a $1,000 position, it would have been basically a $10 loss... That's NOTHING! While I was tempted to come back trading with that full $13k size from the day before, I knew I was probably not in the best emotional state to be doing that. I ended up coming back to make $41.61 Friday, but commissions ate into that making it only $22.20! While that is a bummer, I am trying to keep in mind that I am trading $1,000 positions to acclimate myself into trading real money and the emotions that go with it. I still struggle to lose $20-$30, but I think that can be minimized with the right perspective. I mean, I'll go out to dinner and spend that without remorse (usually), why can't I spend $30 happily and without stress if it means I can get $100 back?
As the weekend ended, even though I finished green Friday a lot of enthusiasm had left me. I am trying to learn to let it go so that I can maintain the proper mindset for this. Without the mindset there is no long term success. I didn't do any studying that I can recall, but I also couldn't wait for Monday to get back in the ring and make up those losses. My goal was not to make them up though, it was just to trade good. And, I have to say Monday was another frustrating day. I took so great trades but just (once again) left a lot on the table!
I actually traded $TLRY because it was setting up. This stock can bounce like crazy and it usually puts in a nice long green candle with volume as the signal that the bottom is in. Even though I hesitated and did not take the initial entry I wanted, that would have paid me hundreds of dollars easily, I still traded it too conservatively when I actually did enter! Thankfully when I was at work turning on my platform to record my days charts, I saw it had broken out hard and pulled back. It was an important level to break and I felt the need to take the opportunity for continuation on the stock, so I did. I ended up making about another $90. It crashed pretty damn hard after that so I was thankful to have exited pretty much perfectly on the remainder of my position.
So that was a nice way to end the day. up $238.70 real money on the account, but I was still bitter about not having executed on my gut and buying what was essentially a routine bounce for $TLRY. Literally ever dollar per share that thing moved would have been $100 profit to my account, and I legitimately missed about $10/share of moves, to be conservative about it. Anyhow, I had made up the losses from last week and was still up $14 from when I had come back to real money trading.
Wednesday, October 10, 2018
Red day recap and digesting my mistakes
While I was green on Friday making $51, green on Monday making $87.50, and Tuesday having no trades because the cash in my account was not available, today I lost $58.10.
Why does this deserve a blog post? Because I have some key points to talk about, and I am using the lessons I perceive today to grow instead of beat myself up about things as I have so heavily in the past on days like today. The funny thing is, I say "Days like today", but today is not a catastrophic one like many of the past even though it is a red day. Just in having taken the time to reflect and see these lessons today, I already see a gigantic change in who I was as a person and the difference in how I would have handled myself just weeks ago. My problems today are basic, crystal clear to me, and most importantly nothing that I need to get upset about. It was not an easy day today by any means, and I do still hear the remnants of that demon in my head that wants to take over and make it mean things it doesn't have to mean, but it's more like I am observing from a monitor in a secure room while it is locked up in a prison cell.
Today started out much like the last two days, meaning not much up on the scanners, and what was up did not have much volume behind it. To start the day I took some premarket trades on something with decent news, volume and a good chart setup. After the open it had a brief spike that failed so I tried to buy a dip, took a loss, and I did not touch it again. It proceeded to fade all day if I remember correctly.
If you notice on the chart above, I never respected risking a break of the lows and got scared out with small losses. Furthermore if I had held my position of 249 shares from $4.01 I could have sold into that spike at the same $4.43 (on my chase trade) for a profit of $104.58 if I would have simply respected the lows. Instead after all those trades I took a profit of only $6.02, which after commissions is a loss of $6!
I basically made the same mistake on $ACRX with not respecting the lows and getting scared out of several trades that never would have gotten me out before a good profit opportunity. However the $ACRX trade was not a planned trade at all. My wife pointed out that it was rocketing, and then Ross in the chat room pointed it out as well. I looked into the news and it had just been given a price target of $10, which means it was a long way away from that. I wanted a pullback to get into and it did not seem like it was going to give one, so I took that initial position with the goal of cutting quickly if wrong, and I did. I kept trying to play it due to the news, but I guess the market in general is not hot enough. Either way, a good deal of profit was available to make up for any losses I would have taken if I had simply respected risking off a break of the lows. It was even making higher lows, which I did notice.
I did happen to trade two other stocks well today. $IGC (+$16) and $ASTC. (+36)
All throughout the session I had to keep awakening to the tense state of my body to consciously loosen muscles and breathe. Surprising as it may sound, I often had to do that with my paper trading. People in the realm of trading frequently say contest that paper trading isn't any help, but I think it is if you have the ability to operate from the conviction that what you are doing is real. We see people all the time playing video games on edge because they've suspended their disbelief and have become invested in something that for the most part holds no real world threat. The best performers in any field are those who can detach as if there is nothing at stake, so that they can enter a flow state and execute optimally.
I have been employing (or attempting to employ) some very specific perspectives on this journey in order to operate from that detached place as much as possible.
Every morning I attempt to remind myself that cutting losers is so important, that it is basically the strategy itself. While I am experienced and have a repertoire of tactics that come to me without effort at this point, none of them can have any hope of expressing a long term advantage if I can't keep my losses small when the trade does not complete the pattern as anticipated.
A reminder I tell myself to help ease any difficulty in cutting losers, is that I have plenty of money in the account, plenty in the bank to replenish some if needed, and a great job that I can earn to replenish with as well. There is literally no need for me to fear taking a small loss. But, as simple as all of this is, it is not easy, and that is the paradox. The real work does not so much lie in strategy, but in self mastery. Caring enough to cut the loss and follow the rules, but not caring so much that you are too scared to trade or respect the risk in the first place. Today, that was my shortcoming. It was my fear of losing that caused me to lose money today.
To sum up the errors for today:
After running all the numbers, had I respected my risk I had the potential to make a combined total of $248 on the day (including my other trades) instead of losing $58.10.
To be fair, If I had made that initial $104 on $NVCN I think I probably would have called it quits or traded very differently, as this first week my general desire is to make at least $50 a day. Who's to say though. Either way todays lessons are very important and need to be remembered every moment during the trading session. I am thankful to only have paid an amount that can easily be made up tomorrow if the market presents a good pattern and I trade it well.
This is all hindsight, and hindsight always makes it feel deceptively easy to know what you should have done. Hell, I could have respected the lows and kept getting stopped out for larger losses than I did today, which may have ended up me being down even more on the day. It's truly anyones guess, but I have to keep reminding myself of one monumental truth: I have over 9 months of tracked trades that shows I can't just be getting lucky.
During Step 1 the goal was simply to trade the chart and see if I could capture more % positive of a stocks upside over time than I lost.
During Step 2 the focus began to be equalizing my position size over all trades so that the dollar gains more accurately reflected the equity gains. In the very beginning I had some major mental hurdles brought about by the size of the positions. I got stubborn on only a handful of trades and took devastating losses, that most of, if not all, where in profit at one point or another. The bottom line is, I was truly devastated by these losses because to me it meant I would never be successful. After regrouping and almost giving up entirely after 19 or so years trying this, I began to think differently. I began to understand that if I did give up, I would never be what I wanted, or achieve what I had desired so much of my life. The only change that took place at the apex of this chart was me lowering position size to a mentally manageable level, and cutting losers.
I try to look at these charts often and realize that is what has made all the difference, and that the same person who has turned horrible results around on paper, can continue the upward trajectory with real money. Perhaps the only real world hurdle I face besides my own discipline right now, is commissions and not trading on the platform I love that allows me to see everything I need to see to trade my best. This first week I am trading with only $1,000 positions, and although my commissions are quite small compared to the rest of the brokers, if I trade too much by taking less than optimal setups I will eat away at my profits in a very detrimental way.
I have since made what looks to be a turn around since I stopped trading a year from the very last real money trade I took. I not only find it hilarious that it was basically a year exactly that I came back to real money trading, I find it consoling, because so many things in my life seem to happen so coincidentally as this. I am certainly not saying I have mastered this, either in concept or execution, but I am saying that I have never been more convinced that I am going to make this happen in a big way. My present course forward has me getting comfortable with trading $1,000 positions and slowly ramping it up so that commissions don't eat into my profits so much. As of right now with a $1,000 position, if I make a 5% gain on a stock that would be $50. If I am trading a stock that with 250 shares, the commissions would be $2.50 per round trip trade. Just the commissions alone would eat up 5% of my profit because I am trading a per share commission structure. In the future as I increase my standard trade, I plan to switch to a flat fee per trade at some point. Anyhow, today was just one day out of the journey, and I got something out of it.
Why does this deserve a blog post? Because I have some key points to talk about, and I am using the lessons I perceive today to grow instead of beat myself up about things as I have so heavily in the past on days like today. The funny thing is, I say "Days like today", but today is not a catastrophic one like many of the past even though it is a red day. Just in having taken the time to reflect and see these lessons today, I already see a gigantic change in who I was as a person and the difference in how I would have handled myself just weeks ago. My problems today are basic, crystal clear to me, and most importantly nothing that I need to get upset about. It was not an easy day today by any means, and I do still hear the remnants of that demon in my head that wants to take over and make it mean things it doesn't have to mean, but it's more like I am observing from a monitor in a secure room while it is locked up in a prison cell.
Today started out much like the last two days, meaning not much up on the scanners, and what was up did not have much volume behind it. To start the day I took some premarket trades on something with decent news, volume and a good chart setup. After the open it had a brief spike that failed so I tried to buy a dip, took a loss, and I did not touch it again. It proceeded to fade all day if I remember correctly.
If you notice on the chart above, I never respected risking a break of the lows and got scared out with small losses. Furthermore if I had held my position of 249 shares from $4.01 I could have sold into that spike at the same $4.43 (on my chase trade) for a profit of $104.58 if I would have simply respected the lows. Instead after all those trades I took a profit of only $6.02, which after commissions is a loss of $6!
I basically made the same mistake on $ACRX with not respecting the lows and getting scared out of several trades that never would have gotten me out before a good profit opportunity. However the $ACRX trade was not a planned trade at all. My wife pointed out that it was rocketing, and then Ross in the chat room pointed it out as well. I looked into the news and it had just been given a price target of $10, which means it was a long way away from that. I wanted a pullback to get into and it did not seem like it was going to give one, so I took that initial position with the goal of cutting quickly if wrong, and I did. I kept trying to play it due to the news, but I guess the market in general is not hot enough. Either way, a good deal of profit was available to make up for any losses I would have taken if I had simply respected risking off a break of the lows. It was even making higher lows, which I did notice.
I did happen to trade two other stocks well today. $IGC (+$16) and $ASTC. (+36)
All throughout the session I had to keep awakening to the tense state of my body to consciously loosen muscles and breathe. Surprising as it may sound, I often had to do that with my paper trading. People in the realm of trading frequently say contest that paper trading isn't any help, but I think it is if you have the ability to operate from the conviction that what you are doing is real. We see people all the time playing video games on edge because they've suspended their disbelief and have become invested in something that for the most part holds no real world threat. The best performers in any field are those who can detach as if there is nothing at stake, so that they can enter a flow state and execute optimally.
I have been employing (or attempting to employ) some very specific perspectives on this journey in order to operate from that detached place as much as possible.
Every morning I attempt to remind myself that cutting losers is so important, that it is basically the strategy itself. While I am experienced and have a repertoire of tactics that come to me without effort at this point, none of them can have any hope of expressing a long term advantage if I can't keep my losses small when the trade does not complete the pattern as anticipated.
A reminder I tell myself to help ease any difficulty in cutting losers, is that I have plenty of money in the account, plenty in the bank to replenish some if needed, and a great job that I can earn to replenish with as well. There is literally no need for me to fear taking a small loss. But, as simple as all of this is, it is not easy, and that is the paradox. The real work does not so much lie in strategy, but in self mastery. Caring enough to cut the loss and follow the rules, but not caring so much that you are too scared to trade or respect the risk in the first place. Today, that was my shortcoming. It was my fear of losing that caused me to lose money today.
To sum up the errors for today:
- I kept trading after I noticed the market was slow, as it has been for a few days now. There were very few stocks gapping up on big volume. I forgot to trade the market we are in, not the one I wanted to be in. That means that buying dips on support and taking small wins is probably going to be the recipe for success, but that's my general attack anyhow! I chased some moves and it was not ideal for the overall market energy.
- I kept trading after I said "Ok, I'm up on the day, I'm going to walk away". When I said that, I was up $47 on the day ($70 something before commissions). From now on, if we are in a slow market and I say that, I am going to stick to that. I only kept trading because $ACRX popped up with what seemed to be a good enough catalyst for a trade.
- I kept trading as it was moving into midday. Volatility just dries up and people aren't trading as much. That means potential for follow through is much less, and trading is just a bad idea for someone who want's quick and volatile movement.
- Possibly the most obvious one of them all is that even when I did come back to trade and spotted come correct big picture patterns, I got scared out of them because I did not respect the risk off the lows. That means I was trading my P&L and not the chart. (I will add the caveat to that, that there were big sellers on the ask that kept pushing price down. While I did felt the squeeze was coming, and it eventually did, what matters is the price and level II right now. Right then I was seeing much larger size on the sell side than the bid.)
After running all the numbers, had I respected my risk I had the potential to make a combined total of $248 on the day (including my other trades) instead of losing $58.10.
To be fair, If I had made that initial $104 on $NVCN I think I probably would have called it quits or traded very differently, as this first week my general desire is to make at least $50 a day. Who's to say though. Either way todays lessons are very important and need to be remembered every moment during the trading session. I am thankful to only have paid an amount that can easily be made up tomorrow if the market presents a good pattern and I trade it well.
This is all hindsight, and hindsight always makes it feel deceptively easy to know what you should have done. Hell, I could have respected the lows and kept getting stopped out for larger losses than I did today, which may have ended up me being down even more on the day. It's truly anyones guess, but I have to keep reminding myself of one monumental truth: I have over 9 months of tracked trades that shows I can't just be getting lucky.
During Step 1 the goal was simply to trade the chart and see if I could capture more % positive of a stocks upside over time than I lost.
During Step 2 the focus began to be equalizing my position size over all trades so that the dollar gains more accurately reflected the equity gains. In the very beginning I had some major mental hurdles brought about by the size of the positions. I got stubborn on only a handful of trades and took devastating losses, that most of, if not all, where in profit at one point or another. The bottom line is, I was truly devastated by these losses because to me it meant I would never be successful. After regrouping and almost giving up entirely after 19 or so years trying this, I began to think differently. I began to understand that if I did give up, I would never be what I wanted, or achieve what I had desired so much of my life. The only change that took place at the apex of this chart was me lowering position size to a mentally manageable level, and cutting losers.
I try to look at these charts often and realize that is what has made all the difference, and that the same person who has turned horrible results around on paper, can continue the upward trajectory with real money. Perhaps the only real world hurdle I face besides my own discipline right now, is commissions and not trading on the platform I love that allows me to see everything I need to see to trade my best. This first week I am trading with only $1,000 positions, and although my commissions are quite small compared to the rest of the brokers, if I trade too much by taking less than optimal setups I will eat away at my profits in a very detrimental way.
I have since made what looks to be a turn around since I stopped trading a year from the very last real money trade I took. I not only find it hilarious that it was basically a year exactly that I came back to real money trading, I find it consoling, because so many things in my life seem to happen so coincidentally as this. I am certainly not saying I have mastered this, either in concept or execution, but I am saying that I have never been more convinced that I am going to make this happen in a big way. My present course forward has me getting comfortable with trading $1,000 positions and slowly ramping it up so that commissions don't eat into my profits so much. As of right now with a $1,000 position, if I make a 5% gain on a stock that would be $50. If I am trading a stock that with 250 shares, the commissions would be $2.50 per round trip trade. Just the commissions alone would eat up 5% of my profit because I am trading a per share commission structure. In the future as I increase my standard trade, I plan to switch to a flat fee per trade at some point. Anyhow, today was just one day out of the journey, and I got something out of it.
Friday, October 5, 2018
Going Live
Today after trading and making $612, my wife asked me "Why aren't you live yet? What are you waiting for?" and I said "I don't really know honestly... but, if I'm going to go live I'll need a market data subscription for interactive brokers."
So I went online and added the live market data for $19.50 per month. I then logged into the live account and indeed saw that the data was live now. Then I took a look at $TLRY, a stock we have been paper trading for a month now. I saw a setup, and I clicked the buy button. I was in the stock and as soon as I was, a tab flipped up and blocked my view of the buy and sell buttons!!!
46 heart pounding seconds later, I figured out how to get rid of the damn tab and close the position. I could have made about $150 in those forty or so seconds, but I ended up banking $53. What's worse, I could have easily lost $150 too, but I got lucky.
After the trade I sat there shaking because of the frantic attempt to find my buttons again. I asked myself how much of that physical reaction was honestly due to the panic of not finding the buttons, and even now hours later, I'd say almost all of it. I did my best to rationalize what I was doing and stay zoomed out. At the end of the day I have been doing this profitably for 18 days straight now, and overall, I have several hundred trades under my belt that prove to me I know how to do this. It is so important to make it my mantra, that keeping losses small is the real strategy. As long as I am trading volatile stocks, buying on dips for the most part, and cutting losers, the winners will more than pay for them. Not only does it help to remember that, but it also helps to remember that I have plenty of money in the account, more waiting on the sidelines, and even more that I can save to refund this operation should the worst happen. But, I am not going to let the worst happen because I am in control of this. The only way I should be losing any large amounts of money is if my broker fails, which is highly unlikely.
After I was finished with the trade, I went into my spreadsheet to input it and was surprised to find out that the last real money trade I took was one year ago yesterday.
It's just kind of interesting to me. Anyhow, as I am writing this I am spending some quality time with the Trader Work Station platform (From Interactive Brokers) so that come Monday I am hopefully familiar enough and have my hotkeys workings correctly. It seems that I have it mostly figured out now.
So I went online and added the live market data for $19.50 per month. I then logged into the live account and indeed saw that the data was live now. Then I took a look at $TLRY, a stock we have been paper trading for a month now. I saw a setup, and I clicked the buy button. I was in the stock and as soon as I was, a tab flipped up and blocked my view of the buy and sell buttons!!!
46 heart pounding seconds later, I figured out how to get rid of the damn tab and close the position. I could have made about $150 in those forty or so seconds, but I ended up banking $53. What's worse, I could have easily lost $150 too, but I got lucky.
After the trade I sat there shaking because of the frantic attempt to find my buttons again. I asked myself how much of that physical reaction was honestly due to the panic of not finding the buttons, and even now hours later, I'd say almost all of it. I did my best to rationalize what I was doing and stay zoomed out. At the end of the day I have been doing this profitably for 18 days straight now, and overall, I have several hundred trades under my belt that prove to me I know how to do this. It is so important to make it my mantra, that keeping losses small is the real strategy. As long as I am trading volatile stocks, buying on dips for the most part, and cutting losers, the winners will more than pay for them. Not only does it help to remember that, but it also helps to remember that I have plenty of money in the account, more waiting on the sidelines, and even more that I can save to refund this operation should the worst happen. But, I am not going to let the worst happen because I am in control of this. The only way I should be losing any large amounts of money is if my broker fails, which is highly unlikely.
After I was finished with the trade, I went into my spreadsheet to input it and was surprised to find out that the last real money trade I took was one year ago yesterday.
It's just kind of interesting to me. Anyhow, as I am writing this I am spending some quality time with the Trader Work Station platform (From Interactive Brokers) so that come Monday I am hopefully familiar enough and have my hotkeys workings correctly. It seems that I have it mostly figured out now.
Wednesday, May 23, 2018
Current thoughts and update on Sugar trade.
Not much time to report this morning, but I felt compelled to write a little.
My Sugar trade looks like it's taking off a little bit, so that's nice. You should be able to click on the images to view them full size.
I'm long the March 2019 contract from $.1273 (that's 12.73 cents/lb) and up a little over $800 at the moment. Because the contract is for 112,000 lbs, every one cent it goes up equals $1,120 profit. It could still be in an overall downtrend, and if that's the case I'll just add more when it comes down a bit, but it would be nice to ride it up a few cents, as it looks like there is going to be resistance in the low to mid 14's.
On the stock trading front, I am still pretty consistently profitable. Here is my current cumulated % gain and my % win/loss distributions. Up 486% at the moment. Keep in mind this is not representative of the % my account would be up, because I would not be utilizing 100% of my account on each trade, and therefor not be realizing these percent gains exactly. If I were to use 20% of my account on each trade that would put the account up roughly 97%, which in 5 months is pretty damn crazy. That would be risking 20% of only the initial account size as well, it does not include any compounding.
As I have been going through this experience, things have been (naturally) becoming clearer to me. The funny thing is that in the beginning I felt like I would never get it, that it would never be clear to me. I have had so many days of feeling like a total loser, confused about the whole thing even though theoretically I understood some things. I have been speaking into my phone here and there describing what is become clear to me. So far I have a few hours of talking that I feel I will eventually put in writing for others to benefit from. To sum it all up though only takes a few sentences, maybe less.
Go where the money is. which means follow the stocks that are actually moving big, on big volume. They are usually moving for reason, which helps very much to understand so that you can gain an insight as to the future potential of the stock. Learn the patterns, understand why the patterns play out like they do. There are psychological reasons these patterns happen, and you need to operate on a level of awareness that makes them clear to you. The price is always the truth. That means if a stock is not doing exactly what you want it to do, don't be fooled into stubbornly holding because you are convinced it will eventually do what you want it to. Even if it does, if it isn't right now, you're wrong. And lastly, Cut losses quickly. Cutting losses in my opinion is imperative to success. Unless you are trying to short a hard to borrow stock you can always get back in. Averaging in consciously and carefully can be done, but you must still respect your overall risk and be willing to cut it like any other trade. Another way to say cut losses quickly, is to say It's okay to be wrong, just don't stay wrong.
It's amazing that it breaks down to those 5 sentences, and that I can literally talk for hours about it beyond them. The reason for this is that there is nuance to each trade because the context will always vary, but the overall strategy behind playing the pattern will remain the same.
Another facet to update on my life is my schedule. Trading and Truck driving don't mingle perfectly, but I am grateful to work for a company that offers enough flexibility that I can have plenty of time in the mornings to trade, and even during work on a delivery I often have time to build a watchlist, study, or archive my trades for the day. The job I currently have provides so much opportunity. Even though that is great, I feel this point in the future coming closer each day. The one in which I will actually start trading live and taking real steps towards the independence from obligations to an employer.
The funny thing is, in the last few months I have watched myself go from wanting to quit, to finding some success and starting to feel confident that I can do it, and will do it, to in the last few days feeling like this percentage chart I have is too good to be true.
The reality is, it probably is. I do have some long term stocks that I am holding right now that would hurt it a bit if I just took the losses, but I would still be up several hundred percent. I feel that the biggest hurdles before me at the moment are actually sizing my trades up each and every time so that my account utilization is normalized to maximize my progress. As far as long term trades, I am pretty sure that is something that will need to wait until my account is pretty big. When I go for real I will need to focus on the most volatile plays to maximize the use of my capital. It would not be wise to employ any of it differently.
I recently watched a motivational video with a guy named Darren Hardy, in which he said that when he decided to really be successful and committed, that he made a list of things he was going to give up. He said he gave up body building because it was over 2 hours a day that he wasn't moving forward on what really mattered. I guess I have been leading up to the same decisions for myself. It was a goal of mine to get into the best shape of my life this year, which is completely subjective, but I now know I am committed to being a successful, consistently profitable stock trader at all costs. I want to get into the best financial shape of my life this year. The great news, is that I already am in the best financial shape of my life, but I want to blow it out of the water. I want to get in the best situation for my entire family.
A great point was made in another motivational speech I listened to, which is "If you make your pain about you, you're going to want to quit when it gets painful, but if you make your pain about something outside yourself you can keep going". The moment I start feeling down about trading, not only do I tell myself that if anyone out there is doing it I can also do it, but I tell myself that I am going to give my wife and all those in my family the life they deserve. I'm going to set them free from debt and such crazy obligations of their precious time to making their employers rich. Not that there's anything wrong with work, there isn't. In fact we are made to move and work, but I want to enable them all to put their hearts into something that matters to them, something that will bring fulfillment instead of dread and depression.
That is my reason, and I will not stop trying. I will do this. I have been working up to this for 19 years now, and I am taking it more seriously than ever. I am seeing results, because I am doing the work.
Until next time.
My Sugar trade looks like it's taking off a little bit, so that's nice. You should be able to click on the images to view them full size.
I'm long the March 2019 contract from $.1273 (that's 12.73 cents/lb) and up a little over $800 at the moment. Because the contract is for 112,000 lbs, every one cent it goes up equals $1,120 profit. It could still be in an overall downtrend, and if that's the case I'll just add more when it comes down a bit, but it would be nice to ride it up a few cents, as it looks like there is going to be resistance in the low to mid 14's.
On the stock trading front, I am still pretty consistently profitable. Here is my current cumulated % gain and my % win/loss distributions. Up 486% at the moment. Keep in mind this is not representative of the % my account would be up, because I would not be utilizing 100% of my account on each trade, and therefor not be realizing these percent gains exactly. If I were to use 20% of my account on each trade that would put the account up roughly 97%, which in 5 months is pretty damn crazy. That would be risking 20% of only the initial account size as well, it does not include any compounding.
As I have been going through this experience, things have been (naturally) becoming clearer to me. The funny thing is that in the beginning I felt like I would never get it, that it would never be clear to me. I have had so many days of feeling like a total loser, confused about the whole thing even though theoretically I understood some things. I have been speaking into my phone here and there describing what is become clear to me. So far I have a few hours of talking that I feel I will eventually put in writing for others to benefit from. To sum it all up though only takes a few sentences, maybe less.
Go where the money is. which means follow the stocks that are actually moving big, on big volume. They are usually moving for reason, which helps very much to understand so that you can gain an insight as to the future potential of the stock. Learn the patterns, understand why the patterns play out like they do. There are psychological reasons these patterns happen, and you need to operate on a level of awareness that makes them clear to you. The price is always the truth. That means if a stock is not doing exactly what you want it to do, don't be fooled into stubbornly holding because you are convinced it will eventually do what you want it to. Even if it does, if it isn't right now, you're wrong. And lastly, Cut losses quickly. Cutting losses in my opinion is imperative to success. Unless you are trying to short a hard to borrow stock you can always get back in. Averaging in consciously and carefully can be done, but you must still respect your overall risk and be willing to cut it like any other trade. Another way to say cut losses quickly, is to say It's okay to be wrong, just don't stay wrong.
It's amazing that it breaks down to those 5 sentences, and that I can literally talk for hours about it beyond them. The reason for this is that there is nuance to each trade because the context will always vary, but the overall strategy behind playing the pattern will remain the same.
Another facet to update on my life is my schedule. Trading and Truck driving don't mingle perfectly, but I am grateful to work for a company that offers enough flexibility that I can have plenty of time in the mornings to trade, and even during work on a delivery I often have time to build a watchlist, study, or archive my trades for the day. The job I currently have provides so much opportunity. Even though that is great, I feel this point in the future coming closer each day. The one in which I will actually start trading live and taking real steps towards the independence from obligations to an employer.
The funny thing is, in the last few months I have watched myself go from wanting to quit, to finding some success and starting to feel confident that I can do it, and will do it, to in the last few days feeling like this percentage chart I have is too good to be true.
The reality is, it probably is. I do have some long term stocks that I am holding right now that would hurt it a bit if I just took the losses, but I would still be up several hundred percent. I feel that the biggest hurdles before me at the moment are actually sizing my trades up each and every time so that my account utilization is normalized to maximize my progress. As far as long term trades, I am pretty sure that is something that will need to wait until my account is pretty big. When I go for real I will need to focus on the most volatile plays to maximize the use of my capital. It would not be wise to employ any of it differently.
I recently watched a motivational video with a guy named Darren Hardy, in which he said that when he decided to really be successful and committed, that he made a list of things he was going to give up. He said he gave up body building because it was over 2 hours a day that he wasn't moving forward on what really mattered. I guess I have been leading up to the same decisions for myself. It was a goal of mine to get into the best shape of my life this year, which is completely subjective, but I now know I am committed to being a successful, consistently profitable stock trader at all costs. I want to get into the best financial shape of my life this year. The great news, is that I already am in the best financial shape of my life, but I want to blow it out of the water. I want to get in the best situation for my entire family.
A great point was made in another motivational speech I listened to, which is "If you make your pain about you, you're going to want to quit when it gets painful, but if you make your pain about something outside yourself you can keep going". The moment I start feeling down about trading, not only do I tell myself that if anyone out there is doing it I can also do it, but I tell myself that I am going to give my wife and all those in my family the life they deserve. I'm going to set them free from debt and such crazy obligations of their precious time to making their employers rich. Not that there's anything wrong with work, there isn't. In fact we are made to move and work, but I want to enable them all to put their hearts into something that matters to them, something that will bring fulfillment instead of dread and depression.
That is my reason, and I will not stop trying. I will do this. I have been working up to this for 19 years now, and I am taking it more seriously than ever. I am seeing results, because I am doing the work.
Until next time.
Thursday, October 26, 2017
Free charts are shit on Tradingview.com
They are basically un-fucking-tradable. The way the charts are formed is only by trades that go through this one route: BATS. It is not a cumulation of all the exchanges like you get when you have good charts. Here is a comparison of the charts I am currently paper trading from, with the Think or Swim platform I also use that has all the data, just delayed.
How the fuck is anyone supposed to paper trade with this shit information? Anyhow, I guess if I want to trade good data I'll have to deposit 3k into my broker to access the real time data in the demo account. It's not something I wanted to do, as when you deposit 3K they give you 60 days of commission free trading. I only wanted to do that when I was feeling like taking advantage of it.
Work has been getting on my nerves. It continues to be tough. I got home at 11pm tonight and still have shit to do and I am tired as fuck... Still got to wake up pretty early tomorrow to trade. and it's not even real money.
How the fuck is anyone supposed to paper trade with this shit information? Anyhow, I guess if I want to trade good data I'll have to deposit 3k into my broker to access the real time data in the demo account. It's not something I wanted to do, as when you deposit 3K they give you 60 days of commission free trading. I only wanted to do that when I was feeling like taking advantage of it.
Work has been getting on my nerves. It continues to be tough. I got home at 11pm tonight and still have shit to do and I am tired as fuck... Still got to wake up pretty early tomorrow to trade. and it's not even real money.
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
$ATOS Follow up
I was dead on thinking the stock would fail. The news was positive and it tanked out the gate. Stacey and I were wondering why the stock wasn't moving this morning at the open, and I'm guessing there was a halt on the stock. Sometimes there are halts when news is pending. Maybe it wasn't a halt and there were no trades taking place at all?
Anyhow The stock opened way up, and started to fail. In my last post I said it was a potential dip buy, which it could have been that as well at $1.28 level, however I was watching other stocks. When I saw it perk up and pause, I thought about shorting but didn't take it. Then it dipped down to previous days support and I bought 2k shares @ $1.11. It quickly failed that support and I should have cut for a small loss, because it ended up moving against me a lot. The only thing that kept me in the trade was feeling like it was too much panic for good news and that the stock would rebound a bit before continuing lower.
It dipped far enough below support in my opinion, for that support to now become resistance, so I had to take a loss as I was not convinced I would get a break even opportunity. It turned out to only make it back up to $1.10 so I was right. I reversed my position and rode it down for a profit. Still was down on the day and made some mistakes, but I am glad I am seeing things before they happen better.
Anyhow The stock opened way up, and started to fail. In my last post I said it was a potential dip buy, which it could have been that as well at $1.28 level, however I was watching other stocks. When I saw it perk up and pause, I thought about shorting but didn't take it. Then it dipped down to previous days support and I bought 2k shares @ $1.11. It quickly failed that support and I should have cut for a small loss, because it ended up moving against me a lot. The only thing that kept me in the trade was feeling like it was too much panic for good news and that the stock would rebound a bit before continuing lower.
It dipped far enough below support in my opinion, for that support to now become resistance, so I had to take a loss as I was not convinced I would get a break even opportunity. It turned out to only make it back up to $1.10 so I was right. I reversed my position and rode it down for a profit. Still was down on the day and made some mistakes, but I am glad I am seeing things before they happen better.
Tuesday, June 13, 2017
So much to say!
A ton has happened since my last post, and I am unfortunately super busy so I will just burst this all out.
I've been working a lot and studying my ass off watching Tim's "How to make millions" and pretty much anything else I can get my hands on. I've been paper trading stocks and doing quite well. The paper trading account is up to $186k now.
I've purchased some digital currency, which has been soaring.
I've been going through Dux's trades (Top student of Tims) and am very slowly gathering statistics to aid in my understanding of his personal success. I study while I am driving by listening to videos.
I've also opened an E-trade account with $3,000 as of now and learned a few things. #1. You can't short OTC stocks AT ALL with E-trade, so I will likely be getting another account elsewhere as well. I've learned that E-trades data/charts shows WAY more detail/volume than Trading view. I'ts been pretty interesting learning more and more.
Dux is heavily short biased and seems to take an average of just $.15 of profit per share on his trades, and about that much on his losses.
I have since taken 2 trades with real money. Losers so far, but I have learned a lot. I have been watching Level II and was actually pretty well aware of my impending losses just because of the Level II.
I tried to dip buy DRWI and saw a wall of sellers at $1.25 for a long time. I should have gotten out at break even.
My second trade was today. it a was a blatant pump and dump $DRNG. I learned some lessons today, or, reminders anyhow.
#1. the crash was too gradual. remember, you want to catch a falling knife. The faster something is crashing, the better the bounce is likely to be. Why? Its basically the opposite of a short squeeze, the buying (in this case selling) simply becomes exhausted.
#2. Look to buy at obvious major support WITH turning action on the level II. the problem I made on this trade was that I just bought at minor support (with thankfully a starter position) but there was no indication of bottoming.
Anyhow, got a lot of work to do and not a lot of time to do it in.
Wednesday, February 1, 2017
ASMB trade
Just wanted to post this trade I forgot all about. I checked the paper trading account today to see that the chart was at the perfect place to sell today with a great profit. The $100,000 account is not at $155,000. No, it doesn't matter and I'm not a genius, but it was still nice to see :)
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
My $KBIO Short
$KBIO popped up 50% this morning, probably a short squeeze. This is the kind of volatility I love trading. I took an initial small position short as it was channeling and not continuing higher.
You can see the channeling mid day, then a pop short. I missed holding for a really nice slide, but I re-entered.
I reshorted based on turning points in the last few days. Then it slid very quickly so I got out.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
November 24th Update ($KBIO & Carbon)
Been too lazy to post trades taken the last few days, plus, I haven't been paper trading stocks much either, just closing a few. Still holding some trades, will post them when I close 'em.
The one reason I am posting today, (well, the one trading reason) is to mention $KBIO. It's a stock that wen't from under a dollar to over $45 on a few days. I was going to come to the charts looking to short it today, but I got caught up in trying to fix the car. Here is a chart of the massive crash that took place today while I was flushing out the radiator and cleaning the Throttle body and intake manifold of my car.
And here is the disgusting inside of my throttle body... GROSS!!!
This is the back side of the throttle body. The orange part is where I wiped it off yesterday, but this is a clear view of the back of it... caked on Carbon man.... Oily as hell too.
And here it is after using CLR intake cleaner. It worked amazingly good.
By the way. The old radiator fluid was basically rust water. I filled it with shiny new neon green stuff. Love it. Just have to dispose of the bad stuff at some point. Never pour that stuff on the ground or dirt!!! Chemicals leech into the soil and deposit into water tables under the ground! Plus, animals can drink it (Because it smells and tastes sweet) and die.
Here are some other trades that have been closed out. Glad to post them, now I can get them the hell off my desktop.
OJ has been soaring higher since I got out of the position. If it comes back down to the 100's I'll get back in.
Found this comment on youtube and thought it was funny. The stupid is calling the internet stupid.
The one reason I am posting today, (well, the one trading reason) is to mention $KBIO. It's a stock that wen't from under a dollar to over $45 on a few days. I was going to come to the charts looking to short it today, but I got caught up in trying to fix the car. Here is a chart of the massive crash that took place today while I was flushing out the radiator and cleaning the Throttle body and intake manifold of my car.
And here is the disgusting inside of my throttle body... GROSS!!!
By the way. The old radiator fluid was basically rust water. I filled it with shiny new neon green stuff. Love it. Just have to dispose of the bad stuff at some point. Never pour that stuff on the ground or dirt!!! Chemicals leech into the soil and deposit into water tables under the ground! Plus, animals can drink it (Because it smells and tastes sweet) and die.
Here are some other trades that have been closed out. Glad to post them, now I can get them the hell off my desktop.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Friday
Been watching Tim's Profitly page just soaking in the Ticker talk from comments. That led me to $FLDM and I took a some trades. Either way I should have found this because it is on Yahoo Finance. Here are some charts for the day.
Bought some angies list the other day
This one was looking like it's ready for a bounce and was cheap, but it didn't move after I got it so I cut it off.
In and out of this one a few times, increasing position size. probably slightly down at the end.
:) took a few losses, but ended up positive.
I wanted to end my day and not stick around. I figure this helps offset some losses from other trades.
Rob booker sold this stock and it's overall trend was down. The retrace back up into resistance would have been ideal but I wasn't watching it.
Sold out of this one as well. By the way, I totally hurt my back at the gym yesterday. It hurts like an annoying bitch down at the bottom. Rowing 180 lbs was not the greatest idea apparently. 140 wasn't too bad though... Enough was enough, now I'll be napping and taking it easy. Have a wonderful Weekend.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Thursday
Not much to report today so far. Took a winner, still waiting on others. Very cold outside. I am excited for snow, yet well aware of the biting chill that will course through me as I take Juicy out for rides. She likes the cold for sure because she runs pretty hot. She is prepared for the high possibility of me dumping her on accident haha, we'll see.
Feeling much better today. Good thoughts all around. Scott Welsh is almost done with his new trading course and I will likely drop a large sum of money into a portfolio of successful consistently profitable robots. I am becoming much more at ease with the idea of just handing the majority of my trading over to a robot. They never miss a trade, they don't get emotional. My only job is to keep checking in to make sure it's running, and to not get emotional about drawdown myself. Anyways, here are my charts.
Sold some Kodak shares for $94 profit.
EURUSD came up to resistance and rolled over last night as I had mentioned it might.
More good news is that I went to the dentist yesterday and am finally getting around to getting my crown done soon. The implant is healed and I'm going in on Nov 4th to have it exposed and getting a mold of my mouth done. It will be very tight on timing as to whether or not I have it before I leave town December to go to Washington, Chicago and Michigan. If not I'll have that stupid flipper to take out when I eat... Never liked that part.
Feeling much better today. Good thoughts all around. Scott Welsh is almost done with his new trading course and I will likely drop a large sum of money into a portfolio of successful consistently profitable robots. I am becoming much more at ease with the idea of just handing the majority of my trading over to a robot. They never miss a trade, they don't get emotional. My only job is to keep checking in to make sure it's running, and to not get emotional about drawdown myself. Anyways, here are my charts.
More good news is that I went to the dentist yesterday and am finally getting around to getting my crown done soon. The implant is healed and I'm going in on Nov 4th to have it exposed and getting a mold of my mouth done. It will be very tight on timing as to whether or not I have it before I leave town December to go to Washington, Chicago and Michigan. If not I'll have that stupid flipper to take out when I eat... Never liked that part.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Shitty dreams and a Trading Day
For the last few years I have regularly had strange and very negative dreams almost every night. As a younger person I would have called them nightmares, but somehow I am usually just able to live in the dream and be a part of it as if it were normal and not scary or anything, even though it feels 100% real.
Last night I had a significantly difficult dream. I dreamed that it was night out and I was in a strange country walking in the dark with a flashlight towards a gated off airstrip runway. As I approached the gate, several two headed animals approached me, like tigers and hyenas. Their heads weren't side by side like most two headed creatures, but rather stacked on top of each other. I was afraid of them, but they just approached and sniffed me and let me be. I entered the gate to see a few black men dressed in green military uniforms greeting me, as if we were acquainted already and I had been there several times. They opened a door and we began to walk into a tunnel. It was a cramped tunnel with no lights and a muddy dirt floor, as if it had been flooded or raining recently. I was very uneasy emotionally as I was walking down the corridor trying to avoid puddles that had formed in all the deep muddy footprints. As I reached the end of the Tunnel there was a little cupboard or closet type space and I opened the door to find two children inside wearing nothing but diapers. I realized that one of them was my son and he was blind. He was in the dark, and he went to lay back down after I opened the door and shined the light on him. He looked just as he did the last time I saw him, a little blonde-haired, blue-eye toddler.... I felt so bad to watch him lay his body down on the cold cement inside that little closet in the pure cold darkness.... He just laid back down as if that was all he wanted to do, as if it was all he ever did...
No one was there to take care of him. He was abandoned... I had with me a few small pillows and I spoke to him "This is how I like to sleep" and I showed him that I like to sleep with a pillow between my legs. He didn't respond and I had to once again realize he was blind, so I touched his body and positioned the pillow between his legs and put another one in front of him to hug... It was devastating. And then I woke up and wanted to cry. I've done some pretty horrible things in my life, and as much as I try to forgive myself for them and realize that I am human, I obviously have not forgiven myself.
There are few things that hurt worse than having a dream in which your son is blind and abandoned in a freezing cold concrete floored closet. Just watching his tiny bare chest touch the floor sent chills through my body and instantly reminded me of the time I was in jail. They keep it so cold there, and no one cares about you at all... period. They live a totally separate reality on the other side of that cell door. You may as well not even exist. And that's how I interpreted the cold silent moment with my son... I felt his helplessness... but what was even worse, I watched his innocence shroud him in not being able to understand anything about what was going on, and only knowing and accepting it as reality.
I feel torn up inside, even right now, imagining that situation and that I am the cause of it. If I had any sense at all, I would have picked him up and taken him out of there... but for some reason, as in all of these terrible dreams I just follow the script because that's what's laid before my eyes... I wish in that dream and all others like it that I wasn't just a human on rails following a locked in destiny of my morbid unforgiven mind. I should have been the hero that rescued that boy instead of assisting him in his imprisonment. I am so mad at myself, and I try to tell myself it was just a dream... this one hit so close to my heart. I shared so much love with that boy, and I went from being #1 in his life to not existing at all... I have my reasons, and they stand firm, but there is a price to pay for every choice made. My choice was to stay completely out of his life knowing he would be well taken care of, rather than being someone he loved so much that only had the opportunity to be in his life a few times a year, if that. I'd rather him forget about me completely. I'd rather have these horrible dreams, if I can wake up knowing it's just me guilt tripping myself and not him agonizing over me in real life. At this point I've been gone for over 5 years, and that is how long I've been beating myself up about a decision that was supposed to be best for him. No amount of money, or personal success will ever take the burden of that decision off my shoulders, as well as other decisions I've made in my life. I hate that these truth's attack when I am supposed to be resting. I need rest. My soul needs rest, and I don't know how to find it.
Skip a head several hours later and many attempts to sleep that were unsuccessful...
Here are some trades I am up in at the moment in the stock market and my trading EURUSD Rate decision trading day.
I would really love to have the balls to trade this awesome action, but I don't have those balls AND I have a dentist appointment for a crown consultation soon and I don't want to get stuck here at the computer.
No one was there to take care of him. He was abandoned... I had with me a few small pillows and I spoke to him "This is how I like to sleep" and I showed him that I like to sleep with a pillow between my legs. He didn't respond and I had to once again realize he was blind, so I touched his body and positioned the pillow between his legs and put another one in front of him to hug... It was devastating. And then I woke up and wanted to cry. I've done some pretty horrible things in my life, and as much as I try to forgive myself for them and realize that I am human, I obviously have not forgiven myself.
There are few things that hurt worse than having a dream in which your son is blind and abandoned in a freezing cold concrete floored closet. Just watching his tiny bare chest touch the floor sent chills through my body and instantly reminded me of the time I was in jail. They keep it so cold there, and no one cares about you at all... period. They live a totally separate reality on the other side of that cell door. You may as well not even exist. And that's how I interpreted the cold silent moment with my son... I felt his helplessness... but what was even worse, I watched his innocence shroud him in not being able to understand anything about what was going on, and only knowing and accepting it as reality.
I feel torn up inside, even right now, imagining that situation and that I am the cause of it. If I had any sense at all, I would have picked him up and taken him out of there... but for some reason, as in all of these terrible dreams I just follow the script because that's what's laid before my eyes... I wish in that dream and all others like it that I wasn't just a human on rails following a locked in destiny of my morbid unforgiven mind. I should have been the hero that rescued that boy instead of assisting him in his imprisonment. I am so mad at myself, and I try to tell myself it was just a dream... this one hit so close to my heart. I shared so much love with that boy, and I went from being #1 in his life to not existing at all... I have my reasons, and they stand firm, but there is a price to pay for every choice made. My choice was to stay completely out of his life knowing he would be well taken care of, rather than being someone he loved so much that only had the opportunity to be in his life a few times a year, if that. I'd rather him forget about me completely. I'd rather have these horrible dreams, if I can wake up knowing it's just me guilt tripping myself and not him agonizing over me in real life. At this point I've been gone for over 5 years, and that is how long I've been beating myself up about a decision that was supposed to be best for him. No amount of money, or personal success will ever take the burden of that decision off my shoulders, as well as other decisions I've made in my life. I hate that these truth's attack when I am supposed to be resting. I need rest. My soul needs rest, and I don't know how to find it.
Skip a head several hours later and many attempts to sleep that were unsuccessful...
Here are some trades I am up in at the moment in the stock market and my trading EURUSD Rate decision trading day.
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