Sunday, June 19, 2016

A Closer look into my thoughts on PolyAmory

It's early in the morning, and I'm tired and hungry, so I don't have the energy to flesh this out as I feel it deserves. I may come back to it and refine it and add some more nuance to it later, but I can't promise that so for now, it is what it is.

Is it merely coincidence that I notice exceptionally attractive females tend to populate the category of Polyamorous?

Or, is it not?

I've found myself pondering this lately as I have been doing that super fun online dating thing... haha!

So here's my theory: Beautiful people get more admiration than normal people, and I'd say you have to at least double that for beautiful women, because men are much more creepy and free spirited in cat-calling and being overall horny dogs that can't control themselves.... especially on the internet. This isn't an allegation, it's a fact I've witnessed all my life.

I get the gut feeling that extreme beauty comes with an inherent power that the average person takes full advantage of. Not at all to say I think that's good or bad, it just makes sense to me. The world is kind of your oyster in certain respects if you possess rare beauty.

I also see the personal handicap that being beautiful can come with, as I've met many beautiful people that have little character... no genuine substance that I could value. Why do I think this happens? At present my theory is that when you are beautiful, people want you to like them, and so life tends to be a little easier for you because you've got people doing you favors... A beautiful person can often manipulate the desires of another to get what they want. The reality is that genetics rule life, and people are likely to cater to a genetically superior human in the chances of something more. It's hilarious how easily we surrender to them at times.

Put plainly, spoiled people who are consistently worshiped and get what they want more of the time, do not go through character building struggle like less attractive people do. I have to say this makes perfect sense to me, as I've met far more socially unattractive people who are of a much more developed character than the latter. They've had to earn their way, and possibly work even harder if their shortcomings in the looks department cause people to actually treat them substandard in relation to an average looking person.

In the same way that a person who has money has more options in life, a person with the currency of beauty has more options and can sometimes possess the attention of some men who are willing to share them as long as it means they can experience them. Now... I realize the sound of that statement, as if all I view it as is an opportunity to use someone. Undoubtedly that takes place, of which how much I am unsure of, but I am in no way wishing to expresses that all beautiful polyamorous women are self absorbed spoiled people who just use men for what they want. But...

And this is a long, drawn out, patient, contemplative but... Again, I have to look at the correlation I've personally noticed. I haven't seen (that I recall) any unattractive people in polyamorous relationships. Why the fuck is that?

The answer seems obvious to me: Those people don't have the option of choice. They don't have the power to attract others to them, and perhaps often, they are lucky just to have anyone at all. (Realistically I tend to feel like we are all fortunate to have anyone at all that truly cares for us, but I said that for the sake of the point) They aren't spoiled, and they have the ability to appreciate what's in front of them and don't feel a void because they aren't used to having things their way frequently. I think that makes a bit of sense.

So, as I zoom out and look at how I'm really feeling, I have to be honest and say it troubles me a little to see this be the pattern. It's not about right or wrong, and I know it's my own ego bullshit, but I have to be honest and admit I'm a little jealous or, "off-put" by the power these people possess.... Well, rather how they use it I suppose.

But I have to ask myself, if I were so beautiful that women flocked to me, what are the chances that I would do the same and explore several options at once if I had the power to keep their interests while doing so? Would it corrupt my sensibilities? Would I rationalize away the disturbing factors I know feel? It's absolutely a possibility, especially if it had been happening my entire life. I wouldn't know anything else I suppose.

But ultimately, it doesn't matter. It feels like it does, but it doesn't. There are beautiful people out there that have struggled and become something on the inside that matches their outward beauty, I just need to focus on that and find one of my own.