Just got home from a crazy day at work. Not really crazy, just a ton of very slow driving due to the snow storms that have finally arrived.
Anxiety has been slowly creeping into my existence as of the last couple of months, for many reasons, none of which actually matter. It's not some "It's all illusion so it's whatever" kind of thing, but more about the fact that it is the opportunity itself that matters. More specifically, the opportunity to be more conscious and develop the habit of zooming out and relaxing. It is a tough battle for the nature I usually carry, but ever since my hospitalization last year, I have been somehow endowed with an ability to start moving forward and through my feelings of difficulty, rather than be overcome and blinded by them.
Some specific feelings that I notice as of late are the lingering notions that there is so much to do and not enough time. Which, is actually true, but I want to find a structure mentally that allows me to more easily accept what I do have time for, and let go of the rest. It's simply something that must be developed. (fuck I am having so much trouble typing tonight. tons of backspacing.)
I need to get my taxes done. There's what seems to be an entire subsection of prerequisites before I can accomplish that. I keep wanting to read my new books, but I haven't the time, and when I come across the free time, it's either late like now and I don't truly have the energy or mental capacity (to properly type, let alone comprehend reading a book) or it's a situation where I have time alone with my wife and want to spend it consciously with her.
There will always be something to do, especially for an ambitious person like myself. I feel it laughable to call myself ambitious though with my lack of actually completing shit lately.
There is the deplorable feeling every day for me in regards to my lack of connection and dedication to the markets. There are so many resources available to me for study and preparation for trading, that, it's honestly overwhelming.
I guess I am in a sense, a self inflicted victim of too many choices in my life, who has also burdened himself with obligations that leave him so little time to do any of them, that when time is available, paralysis sets in and nothing gets done. Hell, even when I attempt to get things done, I can barely focus, do a shit job, and end up feeling pretty miserable about what I've "Accomplished" before I notice it's already past time to head into work if I don't want to get home so late I'm too miserable to wake up and trade the next morning.
I've never felt so damn out of line in my life. I am so unproductive I can't stand it!
So anyways, here I am at 10:44 pm on a Friday night sitting in my chair in the living room. Partially awake, hungry because of lack of sleep, too damn anxious to sleep, and too drained to do a damn thing. I barely can write this, but it was the largest compulsion I had besides eating food, which I will feel like crap about immediately.
I know I am blessed beyond belief, and that my lack of sleep is fucking with my ability to genuinely feel it. My wife is fucking awesome. I have so much potential.
I have no idea what I'm going to do tomorrow, but I don't want to get strung along by distractions. Perhaps I will do my taxes. I need to be able to write all these damn things down when they come to me, but I forget them when I have the time. Lists have become such a negative thing for me because... I just forget to look at them. But I need them.
Anyhow. I'm going to publish this now and then sit around wondering what to do next.
Friday, February 23, 2018
Thursday, February 22, 2018
Think For Yourself
No matter what thoughts enter your mind and form your perspective, ultimately, they are just unverifiable concepts.
The mysterious thing, is that belief isn't dependent upon facts whatsoever, but perspective, which is just the sum of unverifiable bullshit.
Any notion, or hint of a notion, is just layers and context. You can dive down deep into layer after layer, to see that every layer so far supports a perspective and or the layer preceding it, but ultimately, the layers don't end because they are not about depth, but loops.
How can I say that everything is just an unverifiable concept without negating the concept itself? I can't. Yes. Even that statement has come only from the dissolving of layer after layer. And as Walt Whitman said "Do I contradict myself? Ok then, I contradict myself."
If it's all unverifiable, what's the point? You have the potential to decide that for yourself, but what seems to happen most, is that it is decided for you and you never knew it.
Think for yourself.
The mysterious thing, is that belief isn't dependent upon facts whatsoever, but perspective, which is just the sum of unverifiable bullshit.
Any notion, or hint of a notion, is just layers and context. You can dive down deep into layer after layer, to see that every layer so far supports a perspective and or the layer preceding it, but ultimately, the layers don't end because they are not about depth, but loops.
How can I say that everything is just an unverifiable concept without negating the concept itself? I can't. Yes. Even that statement has come only from the dissolving of layer after layer. And as Walt Whitman said "Do I contradict myself? Ok then, I contradict myself."
If it's all unverifiable, what's the point? You have the potential to decide that for yourself, but what seems to happen most, is that it is decided for you and you never knew it.
Think for yourself.
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Low risk outperforms High Risk.
Since I have exited my cryptocurrencies and have a stake available for trading, I have been spending some time (though not nearly enough) looking into how best to go about employing it for future growth.
As I am not a veteran penny stock trader yet, that route it is a rather high risk endeavor in my eyes, and as the facts I have currently (and rather slowly) been gathering show, it is not something I would put a large sum of money on the line for unless I wanted it to vanish. What has drawn me to trading commodities, namely Orange Juice, for the past 17 years is the fact that they simply don't go to zero. The entire global market place always has and always will have a need for these things. As long as we can grow them, extract them, or produce them, we can sell them and meet the needs of people. There will always be a market of some kind. There will always be value.
Homes can be washed away. Banks can fail. Governments can fail. Companies, and thusly their stock, can become worthless.
I have been searching the Internet for some semblance of an article or post that even remotely expresses the thoughts I have when it comes to approaching the extraction of profit from the commodities market. I am definitely no opponent of Trading commodities, but, the easily observable patterns seem so skewed towards simply "buy and hold" investing it feels like a no brainer, which of course leads to the age old question :Why doesn't everybody do it?".
If you had the money to purchase something that you knew WOULD go up from the price at which you purchased it for a guaranteed profit, would you rather buy it and hold it until that profit was met, or buy it and sell it at a loss?
The obvious answer would be to buy it and hold it until it is in profit right?
While it seems so easy in thought, the reality is we work against ourselves tremendously in the pursuit of profits. The average person doesn't have much to their name, hates their job and is in massive debt-slavery to others through car loans, credit cards, school loans, medical bills and worst of all, the lack of impulse control. The drive to exit those burdens generates an extreme emotional impulse on it's own, generally blinding us to rational thought in the pursuit of money. We want out as fast as possible so we often leverage all that we have (sometimes more) in the delusional attempt to win big at something. The desperation within us usually keeps us from taking the time to think of safe ways to do things, and even if we do think of those safe ways, we won't accept them because we are too desperate to wait for the fruits of those paths to be born.
Not many people have the chance that I currently have. I am trying to take the time to truly evaluate what to do with this hard earned stake, so that I can take low risk, guaranteed profits that make the most of the time and money available to me.
As I am not a veteran penny stock trader yet, that route it is a rather high risk endeavor in my eyes, and as the facts I have currently (and rather slowly) been gathering show, it is not something I would put a large sum of money on the line for unless I wanted it to vanish. What has drawn me to trading commodities, namely Orange Juice, for the past 17 years is the fact that they simply don't go to zero. The entire global market place always has and always will have a need for these things. As long as we can grow them, extract them, or produce them, we can sell them and meet the needs of people. There will always be a market of some kind. There will always be value.
Homes can be washed away. Banks can fail. Governments can fail. Companies, and thusly their stock, can become worthless.
I have been searching the Internet for some semblance of an article or post that even remotely expresses the thoughts I have when it comes to approaching the extraction of profit from the commodities market. I am definitely no opponent of Trading commodities, but, the easily observable patterns seem so skewed towards simply "buy and hold" investing it feels like a no brainer, which of course leads to the age old question :Why doesn't everybody do it?".
If you had the money to purchase something that you knew WOULD go up from the price at which you purchased it for a guaranteed profit, would you rather buy it and hold it until that profit was met, or buy it and sell it at a loss?
The obvious answer would be to buy it and hold it until it is in profit right?
While it seems so easy in thought, the reality is we work against ourselves tremendously in the pursuit of profits. The average person doesn't have much to their name, hates their job and is in massive debt-slavery to others through car loans, credit cards, school loans, medical bills and worst of all, the lack of impulse control. The drive to exit those burdens generates an extreme emotional impulse on it's own, generally blinding us to rational thought in the pursuit of money. We want out as fast as possible so we often leverage all that we have (sometimes more) in the delusional attempt to win big at something. The desperation within us usually keeps us from taking the time to think of safe ways to do things, and even if we do think of those safe ways, we won't accept them because we are too desperate to wait for the fruits of those paths to be born.
Not many people have the chance that I currently have. I am trying to take the time to truly evaluate what to do with this hard earned stake, so that I can take low risk, guaranteed profits that make the most of the time and money available to me.
Monday, February 19, 2018
Another silent moment.
I said so long ago, that the lessons come to fast to put them into words anymore.
It is striking how often the moments come in which I have no outlet to express them. I'm in the middle of driving, sitting on the toilet, face to face in a conversation that has nothing to do with it directly. It's like the animal of inspiration vanishes at the most opportune times and when I finally sit, I am left with nothing.
I am now the adopted son of someone very close to me.
I am now the holder of enough profits to finally trade orange juice the way I want to.
I am so attached to my wife that I can barely stand not to be in her physical presence most of the time.
I spoke to my neighbor the other night as we sat around a fire camping on Antelope island. As we spoke, of specifics I now forget, the general gist of what I recall is that same reminder if frequently forget about in my subconscious hopes that it isn't true. Delusion is a strong and abiding mother fucker. We got on about how my incident with nearly dying affected me, and rolled into him dying by drowning once. The core display that he, and nearly everyone displays, is that no matter what the experience is, they assign it unverified meaning from some sort of higher thing, instead of really looking back at it an admitting they just don't really know.
As I questioned his designations of meaning to these events in his life, I saw the same thing I always see. Don't fuck with someones unverified values, because they are scared as fuck of seeing that they don't hold any real value in the way they prescribe them to. I quickly saw this in my questioning and retreated back to safer, "friendly neighbor out camping together" territory.
I have so much to say, but it's not here right now.
It is striking how often the moments come in which I have no outlet to express them. I'm in the middle of driving, sitting on the toilet, face to face in a conversation that has nothing to do with it directly. It's like the animal of inspiration vanishes at the most opportune times and when I finally sit, I am left with nothing.
I am now the adopted son of someone very close to me.
I am now the holder of enough profits to finally trade orange juice the way I want to.
I am so attached to my wife that I can barely stand not to be in her physical presence most of the time.
I spoke to my neighbor the other night as we sat around a fire camping on Antelope island. As we spoke, of specifics I now forget, the general gist of what I recall is that same reminder if frequently forget about in my subconscious hopes that it isn't true. Delusion is a strong and abiding mother fucker. We got on about how my incident with nearly dying affected me, and rolled into him dying by drowning once. The core display that he, and nearly everyone displays, is that no matter what the experience is, they assign it unverified meaning from some sort of higher thing, instead of really looking back at it an admitting they just don't really know.
As I questioned his designations of meaning to these events in his life, I saw the same thing I always see. Don't fuck with someones unverified values, because they are scared as fuck of seeing that they don't hold any real value in the way they prescribe them to. I quickly saw this in my questioning and retreated back to safer, "friendly neighbor out camping together" territory.
I have so much to say, but it's not here right now.
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
Think or Swim: On Demand
Sitting in my truck for a night time delivery...
Some things to report. For one, I recently discovered that if you log into the live account on Think or Swim they have an on demand feature that lets you go back and watch basically any trading day live as if you were there... That is freaking awesome. Why? Because now I can go back and see tick data to line up charts with Tim's alerts! I have all of his alerts and explanations of trades for a few years now, and I have the data to make precise charts of it as well!
Not only that, if I miss the open, I can trade the market open at work and still get my screen time in. It isn't the opportunity to trade the open for real on those days, but damn, it's the closest to actually being there to LEARN that I can get! It's like having access to Penny Stocking Silver for a few years.
My subscription runs out this April, but I will have years of chats, watchlists and trade alerts/commentary archived by then.
I had some more to report, but that put me in such a positive mood that I am going to go watch some video lessons. My wife and I have been doing pretty good with trading by the way, at least as far as being disciplined and showing up most every day. I am proud of us for that, and my conviction grows each day that we are going to make it. It feels inevitable as long as we keep learning and keep showing up and honing our skills.
Peace.
Some things to report. For one, I recently discovered that if you log into the live account on Think or Swim they have an on demand feature that lets you go back and watch basically any trading day live as if you were there... That is freaking awesome. Why? Because now I can go back and see tick data to line up charts with Tim's alerts! I have all of his alerts and explanations of trades for a few years now, and I have the data to make precise charts of it as well!
Not only that, if I miss the open, I can trade the market open at work and still get my screen time in. It isn't the opportunity to trade the open for real on those days, but damn, it's the closest to actually being there to LEARN that I can get! It's like having access to Penny Stocking Silver for a few years.
My subscription runs out this April, but I will have years of chats, watchlists and trade alerts/commentary archived by then.
I had some more to report, but that put me in such a positive mood that I am going to go watch some video lessons. My wife and I have been doing pretty good with trading by the way, at least as far as being disciplined and showing up most every day. I am proud of us for that, and my conviction grows each day that we are going to make it. It feels inevitable as long as we keep learning and keep showing up and honing our skills.
Peace.
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