Wednesday, December 20, 2017

Moment of Truth

The other day as bitcoin hit an all-time high of $19,800 I was struggling a lot over the decision to sell or not, especially with the understanding that my taxed on all these gains would not be nearly what I thought they would be.

The crypto exchange GDAX, which is owned by coin base just put Bitcoin Gold online for trading. As it was introduced it spiked on very low volume from $3,300s to a peak of $9,500. That's pretty amazing and someone I have been watching on YouTube actually recorded the action live and was commenting on it. Trading was halted and price opened back up near where it was originally, but has since continued to climb ever higher. Here's a chart, which does not show the price spike actually..



Anyhow, Since prices of bitcoin have been so extraordinary lately, I decided to go back and take a look at how bitcoin's most recent crash ended. Here is a chart of that:




















If you look at the daily chart you can see that there were basically 3 parabolic run-ups. The first had one red day and continued on higher. The second had one larger red day, and quickly continued higher. There was a very tiny red day after that and some massive continuation, but then there was another tiny red day, followed by a big rejection day. In the following 3 days you can see that the last day was not able to close above the previous rejection point and was followed by a red day as price rejected a second time. That was a beginning of the end and realistically, a technically clear symbol as price could not make new highs this time on a crazy percentage run.

This time, Bitcoins gains are even larger this time than the last run, and we have some important information to look at. Here is the chart as of today, right now.






As you can see we have a crazy run up even for just the part of the year shown. I zoomed in to see the individual days clearer. You can see that the last leg of this run up was very parabolic and had a sharp correction. Two red days and a green day were spent deciding what the hell was going on. Keep in mind, that all this time people are calling it the top, and even I was saying this crazy shit can't continue like this forever and that it needs time to breathe.

This is the toppiest I have seen it look yet, and it makes the most sense because $20k is a psychological level, and the public has finally begun to notice Bitcoin, which is usually the smart moneys trigger to sell.

This year, since bitcoin hit the $10,000 range, it has been pumped on news outlets all over the world by experts that are saying it could go to $500,000 a coin by 2020. Keep in mind that every one of those people are all invested heavily in the things they are claiming will go to the moon. Not to mention, the Futures exchanges have finally decided to come out with a bitcoin futures contract so the biggest players can play. That is a lot of attention. I call this a moment of truth because the next few days could very much clarify the big picture and the next few months for bitcoin. If we get another double top near $20k, that could be the ultimate time to sell before an even crazier crash. My gut tells me that $23k will be an exit point, but that's just an intuitive guess.

Just today, the creator of litecoin said he liquidated all his litecoin to avoid the conflict of interest surrounding his connection to it. It makes sense, but hey, it's also up to $340+ from basically Zero, why the hell wouldn't he sell? Here's the chart:

























If you notice, all of these charts are generally correlated. I did say that Etherium and Litecoin all looked like they were primed to breakout again, but they rejected. They all seem to react very strongly negative the moment GDAX caused that flash crash on the exchange.



It will be very interesting to see what happens. I think if we get a crash it will take a long time for things to meet new highs, but possibly a shorter amount of time now because the crypto market is so damn hot to millions of people right now.

Until next time.

P.S. Got my wisdom teeth removed today. A very resetting of consciousness type of experience, followed by a shitload of pain. Feeling a great deal better now only a few hours later. No pain meds yet, and hopefully none in the future.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Capital Gains Tax and Cryptos

Spent some time looking into it and found out that my possible tax burden this year for my regular income looks like it could be substantially less, which would be freaking amazing.

More importantly, because I bought my Bitcoin over a year ago, it will be considered a long term investment and be taxed at probably a 0% federally if my personal tax bracket is 15%, which it very well seems likely based on the standard deduction change for this year. That essentially means that ANY amount I sell the bitcoin at would be basically TAX-FREE gains (minus state income tax). That's fucking incredible. The next thought I have is, should I hold the other coins for at least a year as well?

The reality is, that even if I don't hold them a year, they will be taxed federally at 15% based on my personal tax bracket. Pretty interesting to know.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Potential options and thoughts.

with a few beers in me I am able to easily see that last nights post and the feelings surrounding them are based soley on the lack of progress I am feeling due to the financial undertaking that I set out on with trading. Yes, I acknowledged that in the previous post, but I say that because it has caused me to wonder how I would be feeling about my life without that concept at all. Would I love my life and be happy right now because I have about $50k of essentially free money just hanging out waiting for me to claim it, on top of the fact that my job is easy as hell and I love my wife and home? Probably, is my guess.

Today Stacey and I started watch the Anthony robins thing on netflix. It was a nice time until our moment got upended by visitors I didn't expect back so soon.

A few hours ago I went over the two possible options available to us if the currency investment pans out nicely and we take huge profits.

Assuming we get out and have $80k net profit after taxes, there are two options I see.


  • put that money down on the house and lower the payment and thusly our financial obligations.
  • Put that money in the Commodity markets, (Orange Juice, Corn, Wheat, etc...) of which I have been dying to do since I was 15 years old, and wait patiently over years for our money to grow with basically a guarantee..
If I pay down, or pay off the house, then the pros are that our financial obligations are minimal and we can save a tremendous amount of money every month. The con to that is that we cannot really grow a sizable amount of money because obviously, it will be in the house. If we put that money in the commodity market though, say $80k, then we can control 5 contracts of Frozen Concentrated Orange Juice, which has been my commodity of choice from the beginning. Hypothetically, if we buy 5 contracts of 15k lbs of OJ at $1.00/lb and it goes up 60 cents, that will be a $45k profit. that could take a few years of course, but a guaranteed growth is so much better than a possible loss of everything. If that 60 cent profit is realized, and we reinvest the new balance of $120k again making 60 cents of profit, that would equal a gain of $72k... That's fucking crazy. The new balance (excluding taxes) would be $197k. Reinvesting that with 13 contracts would give us a profit of $117k on another 60 cent/lb move, to bring the total balance up to over $300k.... in just 3 fucking trades.  Which yes, could take several years, but can you believe that? It sounds too good to be true. 

And all this time, we could still be learning the markets and trying to be successful penny stock day traders. It''s the best of both worlds besides the fact that I'd still be working my ass off to pay the mortgage every month. However, if for any reason we really need the money, we could liquidate part or all of the position and use that money on the house. It is something to think about regardless. The amazing thing is that I am fortunate enough to be in a position to even be considering this crazy shit. 

Bitcoin hit $19,377 today... Litecoin and Etherium both look like they are about to breakout to new highs AGAIN. 

The serious question I might need to be prepared to ask is: Would I rather pay off/down my house, or make a guaranteed return of several thousand dollars over time on that money, while still having the obligations of working and paying what I am paying?


Friday, December 15, 2017

Searching.

Who am I and what do I want?

I find myself unable to answer that right now. I am aware that I am a culmination of concepts and experiences working themselves out within a biological system, but, I am also aware that I have no drive to move in a specific direction, which is where the point of all of this is.

I was beginning to watch Anthony Robin's netflix thing called "I am not your guru", and it got me seeing some things. For one. I am living in so much fear and acting out of so much fear. I am in a cycle of distraction away from the things that scare me. I look for projects around the house to do because it keeps me from trading related things. I do them and lie to myself that they are important enough to warrant my attention over trading, all the while knowing I will get nowhere doing this.

But what do I really want?

I know I can't truly exist as someone that has a true sense of security. I don't think I can be invested and care about things without the desire for security regarding them. Do I really want to trade? If I look at my actions, no. When I was just going with it and on a positive run of winning days, sure, I had little problem getting up and getting to the market to take advantage of opportunities. But when my discipline started crumbling and I took some big losing days, I didn't even want to get out of bed. I knew when I woke up in the morning, that the resistance I was feeling that kept me tired and in bed was the same resistance every trader might feel, but the winners are separated by the fact that they push through it and do the work regardless. If I am honest with myself, I do not want to do the work. I want the work done for me. I do not want to spend hours upon hours scouring charts to get the real data on whether or not a pattern works, especially after paying someone $1,400 to teach me about it. But I know that the responsibility will always lie with me, for each outcome of my life.

I have faced the fact in the last few days that I am a passionless man. There isn't one single thing I have the earnest desire to do anymore. Hell, I'm not even interested in sex. I don't want to be bothered by it. I find myself jerking off out of the mere convenience so I can sleep. You know, it seems the only thing I have any sort of desire to do anymore is distract myself from trading. I am afraid to lose money, but before I can even lose money I have to backtest, and I am very resistant to that. I thought I needed a break from trading, but I don't know if that's true. I honestly don't know what I need because I don't know what I am about anymore....

I do not like people. I do not like myself. Genuine happiness is a sparse part of my day anymore. I seem to spend so much time cursing and being angry at things so easily now. I don't know how to find or get back to the place where I actually feel passion about going in a certain direction in my life, and all the while I am not passionate, I am watching myself slip lower and deeper into this slump.

Hell, before I started my drive home tonight I had some inspiration because I was watching Anthony on netflix, but along the drive home, I got zapped of it all and just felt like sleeping. I barely feel like writing this, but I am.

The only motivating pain I feel in my everyday life at this point, isn't coming from the actual state of my life and driving me to have better circumstances really, it's from noticing that I in fact don't care enough to pursue anything. That is what hurts, and that is the thing I do not know how to change. No amount of notes written during a glimpse of inspiration and truth ever seem to have a lasting effect on me. I see them, read them, and just feel like I don't give a fuck because I'm not there anymore. I keep hoping this will pass, but it also seems that I have started down this miserable path ever since I became interested in trading again... I feel like I am genuinely hating trading right now, which is crazy because I'm not even involving myself in it, only feeling the resistance to involving myself.

So who am I? I don't fucking know. I know all the things and concepts I am not, but I have no motivation to create myself outside of that. I'm just a program that doesn't understand itself right now. I don't even feel that financial freedom would solve anything because what good is freedom without a drive to express that freedom? What good is the ability to do anything you want, when you don't want to fucking do anything? What good is having all the stuff, when there is no feeling of accomplishment?

And really, I suppose that's the issue. I wanted to use trading as a vehicle to accomplish my goal of freedom, but I don't want it bad enough to life a finger. There is no contentment without overcoming something that provides a sense of progress. I can't find what is needed to move forward, and that only depresses me further. I truly am lost at the moment, and it might all be because I took on the path of something I truly don't have what it takes to pursue.

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

BitCoin

Just been thinking about the irrational exuberation behind bitcoins crazy parabolic run this year. Here are some thoughts.

My $590 investment in bitcoin is currently worth $17,000.... that's crazy. Anyhow, this mania is literally bringing to mind Tulip mania. I wasn't around for it, but I've heard it explained before. Part of me is wondering if $17k will be the all-time high, and then I am immediately saying "Tulips were not for any reason worth what they wen't for, but bitcoin... That's a currency that can absorb current market capital of fiat currencies world wide.

What has me feeling some anxiety, is that my current holdings in Bitcoin, Etherium & Litecoin are such that if the values merely Triple, I will be able to pay off my house. Saying "merely" sounds hilarious in speaking of an asset gaining 300%, but Bitcoin has gained over 1000% this year.

My initial thoughts in the previous months have been that like penny stocks, the lowest price asset will attract the most buyers, and thusly Litecoin has been the cheapest of the 3. I wanted to put $5k into litecoin alone, but Etheriums chart was primed for a breakout to new highs as it had been forming a wedge of lower lows against a ceiling it was struggling to break. I ended up putting $4k into Litecoin and $1k into Etherium. Etherium totally broke out 2 days later, and Litecoin followed suit as Bitcoin gained 60% in just a few days.

The massive move was scaring me as I felt it was moving too far too fast. When buying (or selling) takes place on such a massive level, the exhaustion usually leads to a swift collapse. In the case of bitcoin, these crashes have historically been bought up as investors see it as a discount to get in. They see bitcoin as a sure thing, and thus that mindset among the collective dollars becomes a self  fulfilling prophesy.

The huge catalyst in my understanding as to why bitcoin has been relentless, is that A) people who understand what bitcoin's potential is, are reluctant to sell. Just look at me. I bought at $590 and am still holding, so maybe there are not that many sellers? And B) the huge futures exchanges are actually going through with a Bitcoin Futures contract that will enable all the billionaire investors to get in on the action. The influx of capital (which is still very small compared to the dot com bubble) can drive bitcoin way way up. Who knows... For me, I missed the move in Litecoin from $3 to $70, at least I got in with a few positions at $20 and now $70 while it possible rockets up to the $1,000 mark. I feel that as long as Bitcoin remains stable at such high prices and at least gradually keep gaining, Litecoin can bring others to the mindset that it can do similarly, thus attracting their money. Bitcoin was once a $70 coin as well, and I think that is the thought that is driving the money into it.

The future of Cryptos will be a very interesting one indeed. I just hope I am not going to be the guy who had thousands of dollars completely evaporate and not taken the profit when he could have. I am so close to my target though... It will be difficult to manage my emotions through the future price action. We will see...

Bitcoin: $16,000 Etherium: $731 Litecoin: $317

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

I am so fucking sick of trading

Fucking just annoyed right now. over trading on a small paper account. Unrealistic behavior. Taking fucking losses on a stock that didn't bounce. Really fucking pissed off and feel like just fucking quitting. Goddamn it why didn't I just trade Orange juice when I had the money? Or buy fucking bitcoin at $170 when I fucking thought I should have.

Go fuck yourself.

Friday, December 1, 2017

Thoughts about trading, chicken before the egg sorta stuff...

Today on twitter a trader I highly respect posted a now deleted comment "The greatest lie ever told is to buy weakness and sell strength. The data does not reflect this and those who say it are showing you they are a bad trader" (Something like that)

There was a comment on there from another guy that said "It should have said buy supported weakness and sell resisted strength"

The original poster said he disagreed and that "If you are buying support that you can see that is also a fallacy".

Then the other guy asked him what his honest opinion was about Tim Sykes, Steven Dux, and Tim Gritanni's success doing just that.

He responded saying that he thinks it's "luck and experience, though Dux and Gritanni seem more systematic about it."

He then basically said that you can be lucky for a long time. And here is the rest of the conversation I was able to track down. Ya know, I had a gut feeling this might get deleted haha, I should have saved the entire thing while I had a chance to!












































































Anyhow, I was really happy to see this guy putting in his own two cents, because I completely agree. I have so much more to say about this, but I can't get it out right now. Something I will come back to hopefully soon.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Trials..

So lately I have been lacking discipline, and I hate that. If you've followed any of my live trading videos you would have seen me verbally calling out my mistakes as they happen and yet, I would hold the trade.

I broke the rules pretty harshly one day and it cost me 6K. then, a few days later on the day I would have made all that back up and more, I blew it again. I was holding bitcoin stocks over the weekend as bitcoin was surging heavily and I had a feeling my long term holds would finally pay off. I held $MGTI from $1.99 and sold it in the $2.80s. fucking puny pathetic position though. I also had $BTCS from $.09 and sold it in the $.13s I think for an $l,100 gain. Both of those positions was pathetically smaller than they should have been.

I have just not been watching all the stocks with the attention they need to be watched. Anyhow, this stock $MARA was way up premarket and I thought that it could bounce off it's lows. Well, I timed it wrong because I am an idiot, and I chased it. I bought nearly top tick and failed to cut losses immediately upon failure to breakout further. Then because it dropped so fast I added on another level of support. It did bounce a bit, but it turned around and I HELD like an idiot!

Then it cracked down to major support where I had beforehand determined was my killzone, so I added with some size. Well.... needless to say the stock came back up to within $100 of getting me out at breakeven on the position. had I just taken that loss I would have still been up over $1000 that day, but I just said to myself "Fuck it... it's annoying the shit out of me and it's not even real money".

It was at that point where I realized my discipline had corroded so horribly I needed to just step away from the game. And you know what, shame on me for treating it like a stupid game instead of my life's work.

On another note, cryptos have been doing well and I put another $5k of real money into them. So, at the moment I have a pretty large position in the top 3. Since bitcoin hit $10k (and shortly thereafter $11,399) I am feeling it is time for a steep selloff. We will see. My intentions with these are to hold them a very long time. It scares me honestly that everyone is talking about bitcoin going to a million dollars a coin... thats fucking crazy talk. Yes, so was 10k, but that's just insane. I think as regulation steps in, we will see it start to churn and consolidate much more than run up like it has been. This of course comes from no personal insight or valid argument, it's just a gut feeling, which don't mean much. I just hope my position isn't too late to help pay down my house. That would be pretty amazing.

Anyhow. I'm feeling like a bastard loser right now. Thing is, had I not taken that loss, well, more importantly if I had not broken my goddamn rules again, I would not be feeling like such a piece of shit. I'll keep you posted. My wife is feeling very positive about her trading at this point, and I am happy for her. It would be ironic if she is the successful one at this after all my trying and failing. It would make me very happy to see her succeed though. In all honesty, if it could only be one of us, I would want it to be her, because I want to see her become a confident, independent person. I would love to see her crush it and live the life her Ex only wishes he could live.

Thursday, November 23, 2017

My honest thoughts on my own stock trading so far

In my observation of everything, not just stocks and trading, but all my human endeavors and experiences, people defer. 

What do I mean? I mean rather than become self sufficient, they go the complete other way and look to another to make the decisions and to think for them. Or they don't think at all. That was me for a long time. Neither deferring or thinking critically. There is a difference in asking to learn, and asking to avoid learning. The funny thing, is that I hate deferring because I like to understand shit on my own. And this time, because I thought Tim Sykes was a good teacher, I deferred. I wanted to learn from a master, as quickly and efficiently as possible. I watched hundreds of hours of video trying to learn, and what my discovery is at the moment, is that the majority of that learning has gotten in the way. Let me clarify.

Knowing what to do with current setups, based on past setups is important of course as history repeats itself. What I am referring to though is that trading price action seems to be 90% of the real point of success here. Reacting to what is actually happening is crucial, because price is all that matters. I don't mean to under-emphasize the importance of reading SEC filings or looking at long term charts, or understanding the catalyst (or lack thereof) as they are great clues that can give you perspective about what the best odds are at any given point on the chart. 

The problem with me, was that I was thinking far too much about those things to the point that it kept me from using my time efficiently, causing me an actual lack of prep and sleep. That then discouraged me from wanting to trade at all because I hadn't been able to digest and build a thesis on all the stocks that were on my scanner. 

The solution for me has been to zoom out and go back to the most common sense perspective I could comprehend. And by "solution" I don't yet mean profitability, or consistent profitability. While I may achieve that because of this shift, I have have not had enough time with it to know. It has so far however, been a great help in allowing me to actually be an active, level headed participant. Here's my summation:

Trade the chart, because the chart is never wrong. It may look like it is shaping up to do something, and usually it will if you understand the patterns, but be prepared for the opposite to happen. You must remember that each moment is unique and thus the playing out of each "Pattern/setup" will reflect the uniqueness of each moment. The key things to pay attention to are price levels, how the those levels were formed, the volume, and the order flow, building context around the catalyst for the stock including any details that may effect sentiment positively or negatively. I'll reiterate that each trade needs to be given context, and that is what I failed to even realize up until a year or so ago. 

Even when I was trading the news releases for Forex, all I cared about was the reaction. Now, that in itself is actually a good thing but it's not the only thing. A lot of traders get caught up focusing on the information instead of the reaction to the information, but the reaction is far more important because it tells you what the present psychology around the stock is.  

Lets break these down for further clarification:

Price levels and how they were formed.
It took me a long time to think about these things, and I have to give credit to Tim and his successful students for getting me to think about these things. In the market perception is everything, and price is part (yes only part) of revealing that perception. What someone is willing to pay for something is basically the only thing that matters. The edge that people seek in the markets, is in trying to have an insight into what current perception is, and what it will be at a given point in the future. It sounds needlessly obvious to point out to most perhaps, but charts show (with varying levels of detail) what the overall consensus was at any point drawn on them in the past. Any turning point on a chart shows a shift in sentiment of either the price being perceived as too low or too high to continue the trend. In fact, any trade at all that takes place is on the premise that there are two parties simultaneously thinking price is not accurately established. The perception of accurate valuation would stifle any new interest in trading , while perhaps causing those previously involved to exit their positions if they perceived prices were where they belonged. I could go on in depth about the scenarios, but what I want to take a moment to focus on is paying attention to how a stock price arrived at where it is. The journey of price fluctuation throughout time is very revealing if you become familiar with the various journeys that repeat themselves. That is a large part of the work that a trader ultimately needs to be obsessed with. 

There is a beautifully fitting quote that seems to be widely (and inaccurately) attributed to Mark Twain, in which he says “History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme".  There is also a quote that he actually did say: “It is not worthwhile to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man’s character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.”

I find these both really great quotes. The first being great because it speaks beautifully to the nature of humans and repeating psychological patterns, and eludes to all the variables that exist which uniquely effect each situation individually. The same overall outcome is produced, yet takes a different path to that outcome. 

The second quote is an important observation that goes unseen to many because the nature of man ironically, is also to live in denial. Fear and greed (which is just another facet of fear) will be ever present in humans, and thus as long as the markets exist and are traded by humans, opportunity will continue to manifest. Successful traders must be acutely self-aware, and establish/maintain habits that minimize these evolutionary traits that both provide the opportunity, and also hamper those that partake of the opportunity.


The journey of price towards the point of perceivable opportunity is what we call a setup. It is the visual story of what actual market participants have thought up until now, and because humans rhyme in their behavior, what they might be thinking next. The variables can be many indeed, and certain ones hold more weight and must be paid attention to. On a price chart, a change in the behavior of price is the most concrete way of determining if a setup is valid, or it if is breaking down. While news, one of the largest potential influences on perception, may be contradictory to what the current sentiment is, it may not take effect in a period of time the trader thinks it should. The famous saying is "The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent". That is true because humans are irrational. It is our job as discretionary traders to perceive what is happening as accurately as possible, knowing and accepting that we are the very flawed things that cause the irrationality to begin with. 

One of the simplest setups, and one that I am using the majority of in my practice, is dip buying earnings winners and other stocks that have proven themselves with a reaction. 

The ideal setup is simple in theory.

  • A stock shows up on a % gainer scan with earnings released or a significant catalyst. (something that can garner more interest in the recent future)
  • The stock has good volume.
  • The stock dips quickly and cleanly (ideally in the morning) down to a level of support that has been tested several times, making it a "key level". Also Ideally, back down to a level of support that represented a significant breakout of multi week, month, or year time period. 
  • The stock has little resistance (tests) between it's recent high and the level of support it came down to (hence the "clean" movement comment) and little resistance above highs for continued further running. 
Now, this situation is ideal and doesn't come about very frequently. One reason most traders lose consistently is obvious if you think about it. It's a cliché at this point that is taken for granted, but the average trader simply doesn't wait for the best opportunities. That's actually where the liquidity comes from  that the successful traders need to profit from. As with most humans, the losing traders are fearful, impatient, and impulsive. If a trader cannot conquer that, it doesn't matter what strategy they know, because they won't use it properly. But that's a whole other discussion. 

As I said, price behavior is key to identifying potential breakdown or continuation of a setup. The strange thing is I don't quite now how to express it without saying it so simply it sounds dumb, yet, it really seems to be that simple. I like market symmetry. I like to see V shaped bottoms. In my (limited) experience, when a stock doesn't bounce symmetrically off it's support, the bounce is showing you that it's not a great bounce and that it's likely going to lose steam. Often times that's when the stock starts to roll over and make test or make new lows. I want to be out of the stock if it's not doing exactly what I want or expect it to do. And yet, I can literally sit there and say outloud "The stock is not bouncing symmetrically, I should exit" while continuing to hold the damn stock, as it quite often turns against me. Being right "eventually" doesn't matter if you're not right "right now" in my book. Stocks are either going to hold support and prove themselves or they aren't. The vast majority of my losses have been from

  • Buying stocks that have dipped, but not down to a key support level, and
  • Holding stocks that aren't bouncing immediately or symmetrically. 
  • Buying stocks outside of what I have defined as a worthy setup, or the setup at all. 
Think about it. The stock is actively telling me the whole time what it's doing. If it bounces and takes longer to recover than it tanked, it should be clear buyers are not as enthusiastic as they should be. If every time a stock approaches highs and quickly rejects when you are hoping for a breakout, what is the stock telling you? I find often times that my immediate winners are the best, and the ones that take a long time, only take a long time because they are going to be losers and I hold them while the signs are clear as day to me. I stubbornly hold what I know ahead of time is very unlikely to work out. If I can just work on that I can do so much better.

Here are thoughts that help me cut when I should:

  • Winners tend to make themselves known immediately.
  • Small losses suck, but not when compared to devastating, unnecessary large losses that can cripple your confidence and set you back on your journey a very long time, or forever.
  • Small losses can always be made back. It's that simple and you will never be successful long term without accepting small losses when they are still small. 

You don't just want to know what the setup looks like, but why it has formed and where in the overall cycle of enthusiasm the stock is (frontside or backside of the move). Patterns form and breakdown on a mix of psychology and market mechanics, and while it's part of the whole, that information is perhaps more crucial to understand than a piece of news. 

Anyhow, it's thanksgiving, I've been sitting on my ass for hours now and I have family arriving soon. Happy holidays to all.






Closer look at Cliche's: Depression is a choice

This is gonna be a rather quick, poorly written one, but I had a thought while mowing the lawn today after reading a post by Andy Richter (Conan's couch buddy) on twitter. 

The post said: 

“Depression is a choice” = “your pain is your fault”
“You can overcome this if you just try hard enough” = “Your pain is making me uncomfortable. Please shut up.”

My thoughts on that were immediately: "Is your anger a choice?"

I've struggled with real depression throughout my life, to the point several times where it was suggested that I get medical help, and of course more frequently, professional help. I experienced situational depression like everyone else, but mainly the non-situational depress, where there's simply a black cloud over you and nothing really changes that. 

All feelings are ultimately chemical. I am not for a moment denying that people simply become awash with depression, in fact I advocate that myself. We don't get 100% control over our brains natural tendencies to regulate hormone levels, but we can develop a tremendous amount of control through the power of our thoughts. 

Just as some people are born with physical and mental deficiencies they did not choose, some are born with chemical deficiencies or have traumatic events that cause them. While there is ongoing research in that field and some medicines are available to assist, I cannot speak of the effectiveness of those things as I have never used them. If you use them and they help you, then I think that is great, however my conviction is that negative thought patterns can overthrow any positive state of mind. The mind is incredibly powerful in it's ability to overcome states, positive or negative. They can change on a dime, so if your medicine isn't helping, it can very well be the habits your mind is driven by. Sure, no one wants so feel depressed, just like no one want's to feel angry and no one wants to be poor, and yet our choices bring repeating patterns of all these things into our lives. No one wants to feel angry, but they choose to hang onto thoughts and perspectives that keep them angry. No one wants to be poor, and yet they consistently make decisions that keep them poor. 

As usual, there's a nuance and the ability to think critically  required in all of this. When states wash over us, it can be highly beneficial to pay attention to them, because theres always the chance that upon further inspection we'll realize that there was a specific moment or event that things changed. Most people aren't aware of this, but the bacteria in your gut is highly linked to your emotional state. Eat shit food that hurts your gut environment and you are basically choosing to fuck with your emotions. What else can be a catalyst? Any values we hold that come under fire. And guess what? Most, if not each value, can be chosen consciously. 

It is always a mix of what happens to us, and how we respond to it that matters. 

First of all, it is okay to feel depressed. All feelings that are possible to be felt, are okay to feel, the conundrum is that pain hurts, so it naturally feels like it's not okay to feel pain. Resisting whatever pain we are feeling, never makes it go away, but instead amplifies it because we are focusing on it acutely and it becomes more encompassing the narrower our focus. Whether it's homicidal rage, suicidal guilt, passionate love or insane jealousy, it is there to be felt and will be a natural occurrence given the right stimulus. Balance is the key though. Just like pain in the body is a trigger signaling the need to pay attention and assess the trigger, so is emotional pain. 

Beneficial and healthy thinking is a habit that can be developed, and I have long held (with much supporting evidence) the conviction that I can develop beneficial thinking. 

So let's go back to the post: "Depression is a choice" = "Your depression is your fault" lets look at these statements from other angles.

If Andy is saying that your depression is not your fault, he is also saying that your anger is not your fault, which is total bullshit. I don't care if someone shoots my wife and kills her, my anger is ultimately my decision, because I made the choice to attach my energy. It is my responsibility to focus on what ever I choose to focus on.The real problem is that many people are unaware that they can shift their emotional states. Instead, they become fully submerged in what they are feeling. The thing about feelings, is that they are so fucking powerful, inexperienced people can become hypnotized by them, thinking that the feeling coursing through them is the infallible truth. The reality of it, is that it is and only ever is, one perspective of which there are multitudes of. But emotion blinds us from perspective, be it love, fear, happiness, indecision... you name it.

"You can overcome this if you try hard enough" = "Your pain is making me uncomfortable, please shut up"

Those are unrelated in my opinion. First of all, you can't escape any feelings at all, as a human with an ego (an identity/emotional attachments to things and concepts).

No one every really overcomes any emotional state permanently, they either magnify it, minimize it, or delay it. 

On the other hand, trying "hard enough", whatever that really means, has some actual validity here. Building habits takes effort, and if you put enough effort in you can develop the skill to handle these states better. 

Anyhow, it's thanksgiving as I am finishing up. I have more work to do and I've basically gotten it out of my system at this point. Cheers!

Friday, November 17, 2017

Paper trading realizations and thoughts.

This week was mixed as far as trading goes. There are some things I am seeing so I'll share that.

Like I said previously if I recall correctly, things are easier since I have simplified things with trading. I don't take hours to read SEC filings anymore, but at the same time I notice that I am not reading them at all the past week since I have simplified things. I think that is too far in the other direction. 

One major thing that has occurred to me more and more as the week went by, was that I am seriously over trading. I forgot to mention, but Tuesday or Wednesday I gave back all my gains and then some. I lost nearly $6k on stubbornness and I have the video to prove it. It all started when I missed my entry because the paper trading would not allow me to trade pre-market. I've already forgotten all the gritty details but the moral of the story is simple, I over traded, traded too large, and worst of all, didn't cut losses quickly. More and more lately I have been giving stocks a chance even if they don't do exactly what I want them (and think they should) do, immediately

When a stock crashes and forms a very stable downward momentum, I want to see a mirror image reversal. If it doesn't do that I should get out, and I've been holding and taking a loss.

The other big and somewhat depressing thing becoming clearer to me, is that there's no way I'll be successful trading with the Pattern Day Trader rule over me, if I am over trading like this. So, even though I have been able to grind some profits out of the market, I have to approach things differently. 

One thing that seems apparent is that the first trade of the day seems to be the best. The initial crash that I buy seems to have the best retrace. Picking the right stock to trade, and then trading it correctly (which means executing the right entry and exit because you only get one shot) is a daunting thought that leads me to feel like this will freaking take forever. But, people have gotten over it.

I will have 6 accounts opened pretty soon here, so that means 18 day trades per week. That should be plenty. I want to spend some time analyzing Roland's (Roland wolf, a new and great student of Tim's) initial trades that where under PDT. I don't know what I will find or what I am looking for, but I feel there may be something helpful there. 

Anyhow, I do also feel some pressure about the upcoming deadline for funding the account with $3k to get the 60 days commission free trading. I really shouldn't let that pressure get to me. If I am not ready to trade real money, I should respect that, because if I can prove to myself with paper trading a few times a week that I can grow an account, then when I am ready commissions shouldn't matter that much anyhow. 

Starting next Monday I intend to approach trading with the mindset of: 
  • Taking only the very best setups and trading them perfectly, win or lose.
  • Getting out of a trade if it is not doing what I want it to do within reason.
  • Not focusing on my P&L, for entries/exits, but the chart and what it is telling me.
  • Trading each trade as if it is a separate trade, not needing it to get me anywhere.
We'll see how it goes. I will continue to record my trading sessions, even though it is a real bitch to upload gigs worth of video on my slow ass .7Mbps upload.... I do think I will be successful at this if I just don't give up. I need to step my game up and be more involved in certain aspects, but I think I am getting there.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

Fake ass trading progress

Well, been paper trading and doing pretty well. Been uploading my daily live trading to my youtube channel. I think live recording my trading has done me well because it gets me saying outloud what I am seeing and thinking. It also keeps me more disciplined I think. Yay me.

December 2nd is likely when I will fund my TD Ameritrade account with the full 3k so that I get the 60 days commission free trading. It will be interesting to see how the rest of this month goes with paper trading, and the real money trading as well if I make the transition.

Peace.

The state of things

The state of things right now is that I'm pissed.

There's very aggravating family drama on my wife's side between everyone, including me. I can't sum it up easily except to say that I can't stand hypocrisy and people who judge me and treat me like shit before they've even heard my voice. The pattern of my life has been simply that the parents of who I am with, fucking do just that. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the justifying with "That's just how they are." and having to be the bigger person every goddamn time. This is my fucking life and I am not obligated to give third chances, or invest in ANYONE I don't feel like investing in, regardless of who they are, or who they are connected to. period.

I wrote this post on Facebook quite awhile ago, and it still stands true today:

June 4, 2015
If you take the time to read this, please take the time to digest it.
The real struggle lies not in continuing through hardship because you have faith in a positive outcome; That is what inexperienced souls calls struggle. The real struggle takes place when you are exhausted of faith. When your soul digs at the very bottom of the pit in your chest and nothing is exhumed. We hope so badly that we can find it in others, that they can give it to us... to make it our own...
"Just give me rest".. through words, through actions... Anything. We are so desperate for faith, because it validates every inch we fight to move forward. You could argue that without faith, there is no forward. (If reading that finds you feeling nothing, then you have no place for input about it because you simply have not been there.)
But in 32 years, the only thing I have ever truly found, is the fight itself. You fight because you hate that pit. There is no other reason. You try to bury it in every distraction possible, only to see it as empty as it was before, every time you look at it. Most who say they have faith, well, they are the blessed ones who cannot perceive the pit. And yet the trade off is that they also know nothing of the root of their deepest sorrows. They are spiritual children who cry and don't know why.
This is what it is like to be me nearly every single day of my life. It is why I take the things I do so seriously. This is not depression, it is knowledge. It is the closest thing I have to truth if there ever was any. Depression, logically follows, such as it naturally does with any of you in your cause and effect lives. Depression is not the cause, it is the effect.
I have no power, but what I am afforded by the Universe... and I want to feel some control. Just like you, I want control over my life. Only difference may be, the pit is over my head like the blue sky is for you. It won't let me forget for long. So when you hear me get upset because I want things a certain way... It is because I see the dark distance coming and maybe you don't. I'm not happy surrendering control to anyone or anything that doesn't surrender equally to me. Everything I have is already going to be taken, and I've no more tolerance to be a stepping stool to the nonreciprocal. Helping hand in the perception of virtue is one thing, stepping stool is another.
I have standards for myself as well as the people and things I choose to be a part of my life, and I am just trying to explain why I think those standards exist. We are all different and I respect that, but what I respect has no correlation to what I choose to allow into my life. I think far too many of us mistake respect for obligation. You can respect me, and have no involvement with me whatsoever and I can respect that as well.
I cannot cause change on my world as a whole nearly as easily as I can on my immediate environment. So that is what I spend nearly all my energy shaping. Because control is pleasure. Control is distraction from the far larger lack of control we are all subject to in the end. I keep my house, my vehicles, my financial life, my job and my personal life in as much order as possible, and when necessary I loosen control of those things to allow balance to shift into a place that can allow me a feeling of progression once again at a future date. All the while... 90% of days, feeling motionless in the grand scheme of things. That is my burden and I don't expect anyone who doesn't feel the same to understand it.
The burden is so heavy, that I want what I want, how I want it, if it is within my power to make it so. And if I think it is within my power to make it so, I will work my ass off to make it so. The problem with me, has always been belief. If I don't believe, it is very hard for me to be convinced without results. Likewise, if I believe something won't happen, I need results to believe it will. If the people in my life have achieved something before, I believe they can do it again barring some change beyond their control. I like to hold all those in my life to the standards I have seen them achieve before. Not to dictate, but because I love them and I know that the thrill of triumph is so much better than the agony of defeat and I would want the same encouragement. Sadly... many in my life have not been so good at encouraging me the way I need. I want to be encouraged, but not with pleasantries. I work best with logical reasons.
I have the tastes in people and things I do, because I do. It is that simple. I am 5'7" because I am 5'7" not because I chose to be. If there is a way to be happier by wanting less quality out of the things and people in my life, why would I try and program myself to want less quality rather than fight and push and grind away to get more quality? Out of things.. out of people?
There has never... NEVER been a time in my life that I recall someone wanting what we both thought was a higher quality out of me, and I didn't agree or want to become someone capable of producing that. If I have the choice to grow and turn parts of myself into a better person for all of us, then I want to do it. And I just don't think lowering my standards is, or ever will be the way to do it.
So with that said, if I ever give you shit, or argue with you, or feel sad about your results... it is because I am so deeply invested in seeing you kick ass and take as much control of your life as you possibly can. I will not be changing for anyone any further to accept less than what I believe you are capable of, and I want you to hold me to the same standard, because you love me. We are all human and we all falter, but the human spirit is capable of so much in the face of trial and we can lift each other when we are weak.
Tough love, is included with REAL love. I do not ask anyone in my life to go through anything I am not willing to do or haven't done before. There's almost nothing I dislike more than hypocrisy and I am constantly working on removing as much of it from my life as I can.
Let's go down swinging.
I love you

Monday, November 6, 2017

Nov 6th Thoughts and first live trading video

I am getting unloaded and have some time to get this out, which I am thankful for, as I've been meaning to for a few days now.

So, there's been an interesting thing taking place within me, and I've been watching and noticing it. I am open to being wrong about this, but it seems to me that what has genuinely taken place since I've been trying to trade stocks these past few months, is that I have fallen under some certain impressions. I think I am realizing that I may be waking up from them. 

I don't know an eloquent way to say it, so I'll just be blunt. I think I've made trading far more complex and difficult than it really is, because-and only because, I paid what I felt was a lot of money for something. Back in April (I think) when I purchased Tim's Pennystocking Silver subscription for $1,000 (and immediately felt buyers remorse) it sparked a mental shift in me. This mental shift blinded me from the simplicity of trading concepts that I have learned over the years, and through his How to make Millions DVD. I suddenly wanted to get my moneys worth out of this purchase and became anxiously obsessed over watching and recording every video so I had all the content available to me after my subscription was over. Another way things shifted for me, was that I was now a part of the chat room and trade alerts. While I understood well enough that trade alerts are not to be followed and only used to show the reasoning behind Tim's trades, I found thought the chatroom would help me. What I found is that there is just so much noise, it's actually distracting from trading. Yes, there are people who alert stocks that are breaking out or setting up, but you know what? I find that I am and prefer to be (Because you need to be) self sufficient.

Why do I need people calling out stocks when I have a scanner that can find them for me? Yes, I will miss some things, like pumps or whatever, but what feels good to me is trading the biggest volume/% movers on the day that show up on everyones scanner. I don't need people to tell me in a chat room what I am already following. To speak more on the noise in the room, people are calling out trades and huge wins and all that, but the reality is, who the hell knows if that's real or fake, and even if someone makes an awesome trade, are they consistently profitable? It's far too easy to read a stream of all these great trades that strangers made and feel like you're missing out or incapable. My instincts tell me that the vast majority of those callouts are sloppy trades that people got lucky on. It's all just a waste, and certainly not worth the $1,000 per year to me.

So where am I noticing I am at recently? I find myself simplifying again and having seen benefits for it. I have to say something that has been gnawing at the back of my brain since diving in to SEC filings and all that: "Tim Gritanni, Tim's best performing student, barely even knew the news that was causing these stocks to move. He was literally trading the chart patterns alone. I found a huge dissonance within myself while trying to dig deep and make things work with information. Yes, information is important because there may be crucial details that may be red flags for not holding a stock overnight or something like that, but at the end of the day setups either work or they don't and you either have a reactive plan for what the chart does, or you don't.

I am not knocking the reading up on things and gathering information, but what I can say is that limiting that has actually helped me more consistently show up for the markets and opportunities. I was trying way too hard and spending way too much time forming ideas/plans about stocks based on news and filings, only to have the stock not react at all and be dead the next day. 

I am finding what works best for me is simply finding the stocks that are moving, have volume, and have a good reaction to a catalyst that makes sense to me, coupled with waiting for the chart to setup and give me a good risk to reward opportunity to strike. It's basically my age old approach with forex trading, except then I didn't wait for proper catalysts or understand a lot of the things I do now.

The strange thing (for lack of better phrasing) is that Tim is constantly saying "You have to study your ass off to make it!". Then he also say's "Don't be a slave to the markets because the point of trading is freedom to have the life you want."... Anyhow, these are just my current thoughts that have been gathering over basically, several months. 

On a side note, I recorded my first like trading session today and I think I'd like to routinely do that. Here you go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t1vS8Tqem0

Friday, October 27, 2017

Funded TD Ameritrade for Charts

Called TD Ameritrade this morning because I wanted to know if my first deposit had to be 3K to qualify for the 60 days commission free trading. Turns out no, but you have only 60 days to fund the account to that level to qualify. As long as you make any deposit you can have the live chart prices on the paper trading account side of the platform. So, for now I deposited $50 and Stacey and I can trade from the same platform on two different computers. It's not supposed to be allowed but I think we are getting away with it because we are both on the Same IP address. If I want the commission free thing I need to have the account balance to 3K around the firsts week of december.

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Free charts are shit on Tradingview.com

They are basically un-fucking-tradable. The way the charts are formed is only by trades that go through this one route: BATS. It is not a cumulation of all the exchanges like you get when you have good charts. Here is a comparison of the charts I am currently paper trading from, with the Think or Swim platform I also use that has all the data, just delayed.
























How the fuck is anyone supposed to paper trade with this shit information? Anyhow, I guess if I want to trade good data I'll have to deposit 3k into my broker to access the real time data in the demo account. It's not something I wanted to do, as when you deposit 3K they give you 60 days of commission free trading. I only wanted to do that when I was feeling like taking advantage of it.

Work has been getting on my nerves. It continues to be tough. I got home at 11pm tonight and still have shit to do and I am tired as fuck... Still got to wake up pretty early tomorrow to trade. and it's not even real money.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

$ATOS Follow up

I was dead on thinking the stock would fail. The news was positive and it tanked out the gate. Stacey and I were wondering why the stock wasn't moving this morning at the open, and I'm guessing there was a halt on the stock. Sometimes there are halts when news is pending. Maybe it wasn't a halt and there were no trades taking place at all?

Anyhow The stock opened way up, and started to fail. In my last post I said it was a potential dip buy, which it could have been that as well at $1.28 level, however I was watching other stocks. When I saw it perk up and pause, I thought about shorting but didn't take it. Then it dipped down to previous days support and I bought 2k shares @ $1.11. It quickly failed that support and I should have cut for a small loss, because it ended up moving against me a lot. The only thing that kept me in the trade was feeling like it was too much panic for good news and that the stock would rebound a bit before continuing lower.

It dipped far enough below support in my opinion, for that support to now become resistance, so I had to take a loss as I was not convinced I would get a break even opportunity. It turned out to only make it back up to $1.10 so I was right. I reversed my position and rode it down for a profit. Still was down on the day and made some mistakes, but I am glad I am seeing things before they happen better.




Tuesday, October 24, 2017

October 24th Missing an awesome breakout

On my watchlist last night for $ATOS I said: "ATOS: Looks primed for multi day breakout."

It actually started breaking out premarket while I was still asleep. Stacey had an order in for $.64 cents and cancelled it. When it spiked up at the open I waited for some pullback and consolidation. That's exactly what happened so I went long @ $.77... well, it tested $.80 and rejected for the second time so I exited the trade at break even. I was already up on the day with a few winners under my belt and felt like hanging it up.

Not even 10 minutes after I exited, it took off. It even came right back down to support perfectly for a second opportunity to dip buy. One reason I wanted out was because I was watching the free charts on Trading view and it looked very thin. Let me show you the difference between the free charts that only show the trades through one exchange, versus the pro charts that show every trade.






















Anyhow, the bottom line must be this: That I got my chunk out of the market and walked away. I have to accept that this situation is likely to happen all the time and that it is expected.

Anyhow. $ATOS has a conference call tomorrow morning and I have a feeling that even if the news is good, the stock is going to plummet as a result, which could make a good dip buy. We'll see. 

Sunday, October 22, 2017

Ego is resistance, Surrender is Flow.

"Ego is resistance, surrender is flow".

Jed Mckenna succinctly stated that, and while it is easy to forget, today was a reminder for me. As I wrote the most recent blog post I was in a state of surrendering, and determining that I must find a way to adapt because I did not see things changing by force. Tonight I happened to have found out that one of our local drivers actually requested the graveyard shift, which would allow me to have a more preferable window of hours in theory, because I would not be getting home so early in the morning. We'll see how that goes. Pretty interesting though, as the confrontational, emotional reaction I staved off the other day (in regards to a phone call about all of this) would have been absolute ego, and absolute resistance... which in hindsight would have basically ensured the opposite effect I desired. I let go, and what I want seems to be flowing to me.

Like Jed said as well, to the uninitiated, it seems like magic.

It's been hard to flow lately, because I have been so sucked into the dream. And when you're sucked into a work of fiction, it grips you as if it is as real as anything can be.

On the trading front, today I took the time and spent hours going through Tim Sykes daily trading commentary and adding it to the charts with notes. The idea is not to just read what he is saying about his entries and exits, but to combine them with visuals and digest them on a much deeper level. To see the charts and moves he is seeing and imprint them as a second nature out of pure screen time.

As far as real money trading has gone, it's been very quiet for me. I have got plenty of accounts, so the Pattern Day Trader rule doesn't really need to effect me, but like I said in a previous post, I want to know the numbers or have a way to feel confident I am doing this correctly without wasting real money. So, as depressing and kinda time-wasting as if feels, I am paper trading again. Hopefully with a decent work schedule again I will be present for the market. The following charts are from the Think or Swim Platform offered by TD Ameritrade. We really like them a lot. You can click one button to enter and exit a trade, which is way better than Interactive Brokers, where you have to type in the Ticker, whether you want to buy or sell, then the quantity, then submit, and verify a freaking preview of the order.... ugh... Anyhow, we don't have any real money in the account yet, because there is a promotion going on where if  you deposit $3,000 you get 60 days of trading, up to 500 trades, commission free, so thats cool. So, we now have an Etrade account, an Interactive Brokers account, a Charles Schwab account and a TD Ameritrade account. Not to forget, also the Forex account at Oanda.

Here's what I got today for the examples of Tim's trading and market commentary. these are from Oct 13th - 18th. I still have some catching up to do.