Trials..

So lately I have been lacking discipline, and I hate that. If you've followed any of my live trading videos you would have seen me verbally calling out my mistakes as they happen and yet, I would hold the trade.

I broke the rules pretty harshly one day and it cost me 6K. then, a few days later on the day I would have made all that back up and more, I blew it again. I was holding bitcoin stocks over the weekend as bitcoin was surging heavily and I had a feeling my long term holds would finally pay off. I held $MGTI from $1.99 and sold it in the $2.80s. fucking puny pathetic position though. I also had $BTCS from $.09 and sold it in the $.13s I think for an $l,100 gain. Both of those positions was pathetically smaller than they should have been.

I have just not been watching all the stocks with the attention they need to be watched. Anyhow, this stock $MARA was way up premarket and I thought that it could bounce off it's lows. Well, I timed it wrong because I am an idiot, and I chased it. I bought nearly top tick and failed to cut losses immediately upon failure to breakout further. Then because it dropped so fast I added on another level of support. It did bounce a bit, but it turned around and I HELD like an idiot!

Then it cracked down to major support where I had beforehand determined was my killzone, so I added with some size. Well.... needless to say the stock came back up to within $100 of getting me out at breakeven on the position. had I just taken that loss I would have still been up over $1000 that day, but I just said to myself "Fuck it... it's annoying the shit out of me and it's not even real money".

It was at that point where I realized my discipline had corroded so horribly I needed to just step away from the game. And you know what, shame on me for treating it like a stupid game instead of my life's work.

On another note, cryptos have been doing well and I put another $5k of real money into them. So, at the moment I have a pretty large position in the top 3. Since bitcoin hit $10k (and shortly thereafter $11,399) I am feeling it is time for a steep selloff. We will see. My intentions with these are to hold them a very long time. It scares me honestly that everyone is talking about bitcoin going to a million dollars a coin... thats fucking crazy talk. Yes, so was 10k, but that's just insane. I think as regulation steps in, we will see it start to churn and consolidate much more than run up like it has been. This of course comes from no personal insight or valid argument, it's just a gut feeling, which don't mean much. I just hope my position isn't too late to help pay down my house. That would be pretty amazing.

Anyhow. I'm feeling like a bastard loser right now. Thing is, had I not taken that loss, well, more importantly if I had not broken my goddamn rules again, I would not be feeling like such a piece of shit. I'll keep you posted. My wife is feeling very positive about her trading at this point, and I am happy for her. It would be ironic if she is the successful one at this after all my trying and failing. It would make me very happy to see her succeed though. In all honesty, if it could only be one of us, I would want it to be her, because I want to see her become a confident, independent person. I would love to see her crush it and live the life her Ex only wishes he could live.