Some positive news is that I finally found a program to setup a remote desktop connection between my computer out on the road and my laptop at home! To my surprise you can actually use Google chrome browser with an app called remote connection, so that is cool. Best part about it is, I don't have to waste loads of time trying to set things up and forward ports or static IPs or anything like that. It's VERY simple so if you need to do it, just download chrome and the remote connection app and you can literally be setup in like 60 seconds. You can't transfer files, but I don't need to do that. I just need to control my laptop.
So with that said, I logged on the other night to see how it works and I took this screen shot.
At that point I raised the trade size from 10k per trade to 20k basically hoping to come back later and find myself in a profit. I noticed this morning there was a significant loss and have just now logged on to check it out. Apparently there was some news and in a matter of a few minutes there were 7 losses in a row. with opportunity to gain it back as well, but that is hindsight trading of course.
Anyways, on the Tim front and the trading thoughts in my mind... Part of me is just really scared of staying home to trade and making a fool out of myself with all of this, and there is another part of me that wants to be determined to make it work no matter how long that takes. I mean, isn't that the point of never giving up? I have really been wondering just how likely it is for a person with a small account to actually grow it to the point of living off of it. And I mean, if they have no one to take care of them and cover bills in the mean time. That was my plan last year but things came up. I wanted to have a years worth of rent saved up and a small account to start with and see how it went. You know I listen to the traders podcast with Rob Booker, and I enjoy it quite a bit but not nearly as much as I used to. Ever since listening to Tim and watching his YouTube videos and seeing his transparency... I find a natural voice in my mind asking why Rob is not so transparent... He says he posts charts of his trades on his twitter and I haven't been a part of that so I don't know, but I just find that I am not getting what feels like any real meat out of that podcast anymore. Hell, it's really just a 20 minute conversation anymore about things I find rather insignificant. It feels more like cheer leading than anything of true value. While I recognize that a positive attitude is a great thing, so is a plan backed up by past results, and Rob doesn't offer that even in his trading course I bought... Tim has around 3,900 documented trades and a statistical 76% win rate with an average winner of around $2,300. That is the kind of thing that inspires what really matters: Educated confidence.
And as I write that I can almost hear Rob commenting to his audience, and specifically to me, that it's up to me to do the work and find the results I can be confident in. That has been a backbone of the journey I am documenting with this blog, but the reality is I am not going to just set a robot and forget it. I have yet to share my most likely strategy for forex trading on this blog yet, but suffice it to say it is not one that can be employed or even studied while I am on the road. It must be done live and in person and carefully studied so I can have real results to calculate.
I myself feeling like a quitter and a loser for being less active on this blog, even though from the start I never made any promises about it. It doesn't help that since that initial decline in performance it has just kept on going and has basically taken me back to break even. It is not confidence inspiring.
Let me try and give you a good parallel. I think it is kinda like turning on the news and seeing story after story of horrible things done by horrible people. Even though what you are witnessing may not be done in your country or directly impact you in a real way, it still has an impact on your psyche. Terrorism may not be present in your neighborhood, your town, or even your state... But it could anger and scare the shit out of you (like it does me) and cause results in your real life that otherwise would not have been happening.
I guess part of me is wondering if there is really anything positive about seeing all these losses over what is basically just random robotic trading losses. Part of it really is the gathering of data for the purpose of seeing if in the long term prices will move far enough in one direction to be profitable overall... But it has been a real battle to keep reminding myself that those losses are a result of a way I do not truly intend to trade, that those losses should not and do not reflect who I am personally as some kind of loser.
A large problem for me in all of this is the frustration I feel at seeing those losses while also seeing times that I could have taken profits if I had been paying attention, but the losses make it emotionally hard and too frustrating at times to even open the chart and look. I won't honestly be able to be at home and trade the way I want to until july. My desire, besides trading Tim's strategy, is to trade forex around huge news announcements like tomorrows Minimum bid rate (interest rate) because it makes the most sense to me to limit my trading to only the most volatile moves. I truly am starting to feel that trading any time otherwise is damn near close to a waste of time for me and my personality.
So if I stop updating the blog with certain things, or at all, it is probably because I have no energy for it or have determined to be ultimately not a positive use of time. I can't say either way what will happen but I wanted to say that regardless.
On one last note, I have started playing Skyrim on my PC and although I can't say it is quite my thing as it doesn't have guns, I am finding it a pleasurable use of my time, especially because I have modded the hell out of it with followers, and texture packs. So, maybe I'll post about that who knows haha.
Take care until next time,
-Francisco
No comments:
Post a Comment